The Blog if You Don't Know What You're Doing

Today I got the distinct honor of being able to speak to a group of girls in high school and middle school who are interested in possibly pursuing a career in the STEM field. When I was contacted about doing this, I was referred to as a "mentor" and immediately thought  "WOAH, I am not experienced enough for that word or this event". I decided to take it on because going out of your comfort zone is really important in my opinion and who wouldn't want to be called a mentor, am I right?  I went in expecting a group of girls who were all mini-me's, future engineers who had a passion for math and had a million questions about what it's really like to be a woman in engineering school. What I got was not that.

I walked into a group of girls who had no idea what they wanted to do. Some wanted to pursue accounting, athletics, education. Some thought they maybe sorta kinda wanted to go into something sciencey but they weren't sold on anything yet. At first I thought, why are you here? And then I realized that they are mini-me's. I was reminded that though I'm halfway through college and it feels like I've been fully committed to engineering for so long, there was a point in my life where I had no idea what I wanted to do. There was a point in my life where I wanted to be a teacher. There was even a point in my life where I wanted to be a mermaid-bus driver-lunch lady, but that combo was too complicated.

So I asked myself, do any of us really know what we are doing? I'm halfway through engineering school which implies that I should at least halfway know what the heck is going on. But the catch is, I honestly don't. I take my life day by day, never knowing what to expect or if I'm going to make it (I understand that is ridiculously irrational, I get it). I am trying to get an internship and soon a job and I honestly do not even know how to go about that. I don't know what my life will look like in 3 months. I don't know what my life will look like in 2 years. Or 5 years or 10 years or 20 years. And I don't think you do either.

But as I was driving home tonight my favorite Christian song circulating on the radio these days came on, and it was like water washing over me. It reminded me that no matter what I want, it doesn't matter. Its what God wants. His plan is best. If I fail a class, I will trust him. If I don't get an internship right away, I will trust him. If you have no idea what your day tomorrow looks like like me, let alone your next few years, trust Him. He's the only predictable, stable thing. The rock won't move. I think its super important to take a time out and reflect on this so I encourage you to listen to the video below because it truly is amazing. Im also a major believer in reading what inspires you, so I wrote out the best lyrics from the song below. If you listen to this song and read those words and your whole body isn't covered in goosebumps and you don't feel like you could do literally anything because God's got you, I don't know how to help you. God Bless, y'all.

"You are my strength and comfort,

You are my steady hand,

You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand,

Your ways are always higher,

Your plans are always good,

There's not a place where I'll go, You've not already stood

When you don't move the mountains I needed you to move,

When you don't part the waters I wish I could walk through,

When you don't give the answers as I cry out to you,

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you,"

Spirit, Lead Me Where My Trust is Without Borders

I am writing at a much too late time in the middle of the night simply because God is good and he has made my cup overflow yet again. As many of you know, I will be starting college next month. Some of you may have been through this yourself, so you know all about the nervousness/excitement you feel. You honestly do not know what to expect at all, but you are so ready for whatever it is. Just how much would you completely flip if you had to go into this not knowing where you would be living this year? Scratch that, what if you're college let you pick out a roommate that you had gotten to know for months and then told you that there actually wasn't room for you so they would pay for you to stay in a hotel until someone dropped out and you wouldn't actually get to room with your room mate. Yeah, not a cool feeling. Well that was the boat I was in.

I go to a college where the acceptance rate is through the roof. Funny thing is, it's actually one of the most respected schools for many, many majors in the southeast. This means that an insane amount of people pay for the first semester and about 30% of them actually end up dropping out super quickly, which in turn means the school makes thousands off of students they never really believed in in the first place. With this being the case, you must apply for housing as soon as the first inkling of wanting to attend the school actually forms itself into a brain wave and goes through your mind. I, being the indecisive person that I am, decided I wanted to go here in February. Apparently that was too late, hence me being an "overflow" student.

OBVIOUSLY I was bummed beyond words. I had plans to skip "The Great Move In Day" and just wait until I had to move in. I didn't even want to look at the pile of junk I had just bought for a dorm I would have to wait weeks and week for. And I was super bent that I just spent months getting to  know a girl I thought I would be living with but actually would be no where near. Not to mention, we planned for our room to be super cute and matchy and that no longer would be the case. I was not a nice person today by any stretch.

Then I decided it was time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. After all, this was my first experience with "The Real Word" and hey, "The Real World" never really had sparkling reviews did it? I was going to give it to God. I didn't know why I had been the one that was homeless. I thought I had done everything right in my college search, right down to making sure the school I wanted to go to was also the school he wanted me at. But I knew that his plan was what mattered and i was going to make the best out of it. Who knew, the person I did end up rooming with might need Jesus. I trusted that he knew what he was doing so I finally gave over the reigns, 100%.

I then made the hour long trek to an amazing worship service that is held on Tuesday nights. When I arrive, I look at my phone and see that my room mate had texted me... We had gotten a dorm. Yes, it's the crappiest dorm on campus and yes, we will have to relocate after Christmas due to renovations, but I am no longer homeless...

Praise God!! 

So as I go into worship and begin singing "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me" it hits me... God needed me to learn how to trust him. I have just entered a world where I do things on my own, which means plans will go, well, not as planned. I have to be able to fully know that no matter what happens or where I go it's in his plan and God has a hold on my life. I am about to walk into more of a battle field than I realize. Its a battle for souls. If I cant trust God, how can I convince anyone else to do the same? I know that even when it feels like things are upside down, its part of his plan. Just because I don't have it all figured out doesn't mean he doesnt. We never know what mission opportunities we have laid out before us and it is absolutely essential that we walk into the unknowing with a smile on our face so that others may ask why in the world we are so happy when everything seems to be going off the tracks. 

I am so glad to have had him teach me this lesson with his own hands and his own voice. It is certainly something I will never forget. If you havent heard the song Oceans by Hillsong (or if you've just heard the really bad radio version), the link is listed below. Please listen to it! It is one of my all time favorite worship songs and it always reminds me that he is the calm in the storm. With Jesus, you dont have to walk on water. You can just swim. He will keep your eyes above the water, even when the waves are taller than you can see. But trust is the key. God bless. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

The Struggles of Being a Blog Baby

Just in case y'all (all 0 of you) were unaware, being a "blog baby" is quite the struggle. This is mainly because, well... my blog is more dead than Billy Ray Cyrus' career after the "Achy Breaky Heart" obsession died down. So in a very awkward way to get my name out there, I must post a link from Bloglovin so readers will know that my blog is open for business. In hopes that someone later on down the road may be scrolling down my page, I will attempt to make this post interesting and not just a waste of space for a link to appear on. So here goes nothing!

The Struggles of Being a "Blog Baby"

• I am writing a post for no one to read. The whole point of a blog is to create posts for people to read... too bad I have no one to read my posts yet! It's quite awkward writing something when I know that potentially no one will read... it's almost as crazy as talking to yourself in public. 
• I feel like a homeless person in blog land. Instead of begging for change, I'm begging for followers. 
• If this whole thing is a flop, I'm gonna really regret this later in life. This is potentially the equivalent of all the embarrassing things you did in 6th grade that you now try to block out of your memory. Current generation: take a second to cringe at the thought of your Myspace profile. The Older Crowd: take a second to cringe at the thought of your hair in the 80s. 

Despite the initial awkwardness and the blaring risk of failure, the entire point of this blog is to go beyond what you normally would. So here is my first leap of faith! I intended for this whole thing to be a form of ministry and a general pick-me-up, so I guess we'll see where God wants to take this thing later on down the road. To anyone who is reading this, I appreciate the support. I pray that it serves as a blessing in your life!

-Hope 

That elephant in the room... the link:

That Crazy Voice Inside Our Heads

Do you ever have that feeling, that little tug at your heart, that you need to go and do something or say something, but you really don’t know what that feeling is all about? Some might say that your conscience is urging you to follow through with the act, others might argue otherwise. But I believe that the burning urge you experience is directly coming from God.

          A section in Mark 5 speaks mostly of Jesus raising a little girl from the dead. But the bible also seemingly shoves another story in the middle of the one mentioned above that really can seem out of place. The story is of a woman who has been bleeding for twelve years and has gone to every doctor she knows, but none can solve the problem. In fact, the problem actually worsened. The woman was obviously terrified of what could happen next and was at a loss as to what the next step she could take would be. She began to hear stories of Jesus raising people from the dead, healing the sick, and even driving out demons. Suddenly she began to think “if I can just touch him, I will be healed”. So what did she do? She reached out and she touched him and was healed.

          As I was reading this story the other day, I began to question what would make her think that she just had to touch him to be healed. Reaching out and touching not only a complete stranger but a celebrity goes beyond the saying
“going out on a limb”. After some deep thought, I reached a conclusion. The woman probably had that little voice in the back of her mind, the very same voice that you and I have from time to time, telling her that for some strange reason, all she had to do was touch Jesus to gain healing. That voice was and is God’s voice.

          God knew that obeying this command would take faith. Put yourself in this woman’s shoes: Imagine if you knew Tom Cruise was due to be in town here in a while and you began to feel the urge that touching him would heal you of your _____ (insert disease here)… would you do it? Probably not! That’s awkward, humiliating, dangerous, uncomfortable. The woman probably thought that she was absolutely crazy for having these thoughts, but she had this undeniable burn (and I’m sure she knew that it was a burn God had given her) that she had to touch Jesus. So that’s what she did. And Jesus turned around and told her that because of her faith she was healed. That part always used confused me. What faith? The faith it took to listen to that little voice and to know that it was God and to follow through with what He was telling her to do. That’s a great deal of faith.

          I come with this message to encourage you to listen to that voice inside of your soul, urging you to do the craziest of things. I have heard countless stories of the most awkward encounters that were inspired by God, all in order to be a blessing in someone’s day. You never know how God could use you, and if it’s anything like it was in biblical times, it gets far more ridiculous than simply touching the edge of someone’s cloak. But I promise that the initial craziness, whatever it may be, will be well worth the blessing in the end. All you need is the faith that tells you God will be glorified through the action.

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” –Oceans by Hillsong. I hope that you pray for the faith that will allow you to wander the craziest of paths as long as God’s voice is your guide, just as he was for the woman in the story.