O: Offense of Sin

Oh boy. This part of the series is a doozy. This is the part of the story that no one wants to hear. Society as a whole (and honestly modern churches) kinda skim over this and "get to the good stuff". If the Bible was a movie, the "sin" scene would be when you got up to refill your popcorn. But the truth is that its real and its the only way to indeed "get to the good stuff", so here we go.

A long time ago in a land far far away God made the heavens and the Earth and people. He loved the people and he gave all he had to the people. The people loved him and obeyed him out of love and respect, knowing he only lovingly walked with them. However, a voice kept talking to the people, convincing them with dripping deceit that they had been deceived by this God, that they weren't truly loved by Him. The voice told them he can't be trusted, that his ways were unfair, that he didn't want their minds to be open to everything that the world had to offer them (oh, how we hear this same voice every day in so many different forms). And so the people made the single worst decision in human history and listened to a worldly voice instead of an out-of-this-world God. They sinned against God.

This action- this sin- told God that they thought they knew better than Him. That they had this thing in the bag and he could just mosey on off and keep ruling the universe and stuff. They told him in essence that they didn't trust him, that they were questioning his love for them, that they didn't need his guidance or compassion. On this day, mankind partnered with Satan and tried to kill the very essence and character of the Almighty Creator. And you and I do the same thing every single day.

I think that this article is crucial. I think that as Christians, you and I must come face to face with who we really are underneath the getup that we put on. I think to be on right terms with God and to fully get the gospel, we have to understand the facts. So here goes nothing.

You and I are sinners. Our very being hates God. He makes our worldly skin crawl. Almost every natural instinct we have tells us to go against his guidance, to give into what we want no matter who it affects. Our feet hit the floor and we commit a dozen offenses against God before we even go to work. We separate ourselves from protection, perfection, immeasurable love, humility, grace, mercy, and guidance and sometimes we even have the audacity to be proud of it. And that only means one thing.

We deserve eternal damnation. We deserve an eternity away from true love because every minute we deny that God is God. I'm going to discuss S: Sufficiency of Christ next week in great detail, however we are faced with 2 and ONLY two options: Accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and know that he died on the cross and endured all of God's wrath for the very sins that you and I committed yesterday and today and tomorrow or spend an eternity away from God.

The reason that the gospel message is so important is because of that very reality. There is no other way around it. Good works won't get you to heaven. Being a "nice guy" will not land you a spot in front of those pearly gates. If you donate a day of your life every single week to volunteering or some form of charity, that still isn't cutting it. No other religion or "savior" gets you there either. There is but ONE way to escape the inevitable fate of mankind and that is through accepting JESUS CHRIST.  

What does "forever" in hell look like?

I don't know. I can not imagine a place where God's love cannot be seen neither here nor there. I can not imagine a place where pain and suffering exclusively exist together for stretches of time that literally never end. I can not imagine a place that is void of all goodness, all hope, all joy for forever and ever and ever and then some. All suffering, all work, all wrath and pain and agony. I don't want to know what the looks like.

 But it makes me cry.

And the reality is that every single human being who has ever stepped foot on Earth has fallen far short of what he/she was created to be and have slapped the face of the very same creator who crafted the universe and we deserve that terrible, awful place that makes me cry. And like a brand new iPhone, our factory settings are set to "hell". The reality is that every single person who does not accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior are automatically sent to this place. Any person who hasn't even heard of Jesus has the same fate.

That is why the Gospel message is so urgent. That is why your very essence must positively ooze Jesus. It is that crucial. It is of immediate, 911, need to do right now importance. Because it's up to you. Imagine your own very near and dear loved ones who may or may not have the Gospel message a little mixed up and your heart absolutely shatters and you realize just how urgent that this message is. Next week I get to tell you of the immense love and mercy and grace that was and is extended to you every single day and that story is the most important story you will ever hear in your entire existence and it is absolutely vital that you know it and believe it and tell it to anyone who will listen, no matter the cost because the alternative is absolutely unbearable to consider.

Francis Schaffer, when asked how he would disciple to someone who has never heard the gospel before in just one hour, replied:

"I would spend 45-50 minutes on the negative, to really 

show him his dilemma- that he is morally dead- then

take 10-15 minutes to preach the Gospel. I believe that

much of our evangelistic and personal work today is not 

clear simply because we are too anxious to get to the answer

 without having a man realize the real cause of his sickness, which 

is true moral guilt (and not just psychological guilt feelings)

in the presence of God."

This message is so vital that we should spend about 4/5ths of our evangelistic time addressing the problem. And I agree. People are falling apart today because society has deemed sin offensive (as they should) and in return "feel good" churches kinda sweep it up under a rug. Don't get me wrong, I am a far cry from a "fire and brimstone" kinda gal, but as a logical and mathematical person I understand that before a solution can be found, the problem must be clearly stated and understood. 

We can not make a person whole by starting the Gospel message in Matthew. 

I do not want anyone to experience an endless amount of time in suffering, where even the sweet relief of death is nowhere to be found. Therefore I am not hesitant to clearly state that that is reality if steps are not taken. 

This is not a fun topic, no, but it is perhaps the most necessary one. It's scary without a doubt, but how blessed and grateful am I that after O comes S, the sufficiency of Christ. In the time being, meditate over the idea that we do not have to experience an eternity away from God because Christ already endured it for us. Not once, but for every single person who has ever and will ever live. I don't know how to express this joy any better than the below verse from "It is Well With My Soul". 

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

G- God's Character

God's character is probably the most important aspect of the entire Bible, yet it's probably also the aspect that we neglect to think about enough in our own walks with God. The government and a lot of activists groups like to comment on what they think the character of God is like, however you and I are probably not as quick to write up a Facebook post about this instead of writing a post about those same activists groups and their "crazy" ideas (More on that next week). Without the character of God, the Bible doesn't even exist. Who God is creates the very foundation of our faith and we should meditate on the truths of his character daily. 

So who is God?

According to those activists groups or any disgruntled person on any given day, God is a pretty mean guy. He takes a lot of what we want away. He lets terrible things happen in our lives and is full of hate and wrath toward us. Some say that if "God" even is real then its no god that they want to serve. Unfortunately, this view of God is becoming more and more popular. As humans, we search for answers and when we can't find them we shake our fist at the sky and blame our creator.

Thankfully, the people above are completely wrong. They have confused God with the backlash of sin and have turned their bitterness towards the wrong offender. The God who made is so much more than wrath.

God is love. I know you have probably seen that written on some sort of Facebook post where you were prompted to "share it" because God saw you read it, but it's true. God is love in its purest, most untampered form. Like fate, I read 1 Corinthians 13 in my devotional tonight and immediately I knew I had to include it in this post. We usually pull out these verses on engagement posts to put on instagram but never really consider the actual weight of the words.

"Love is patient, love is kind,

Love does not envy, 

it is not boastful or conceited, 

does not act improperly,

is not selfish, is not provoked,

and does not keep a record of wrongs. 

Love finds no joy in unrighteousness

but rejoices in the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails."

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Yes, this is an awesome verse of marriage, but its also an awesome verse for the character of God. God is love.  He is patient, kind, not boastful, not selfish. He keeps no record of wrongs (once you accept Jesus), he rejoices in the truth. He bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God never fails. 

How amazing is that? On top of that, God is personal. He actively seeks a relationship with you. One of the stories David told about a mission trip he went on somewhere in the Middle East. He was talking to a Buddhist and a Muslim all day and after talking for a while, he asked them a question based on what he had picked up on from their conversation. He said "So if you do all these rituals and pray this amount of times and keep yourself clean, you essentially are journeying up a mountain to get to God, right? And once you get there you're golden." The men agreed, very pleased that he understood. David replied "What if I told you that you don't have to do that. God comes down the mountain and meets you". 

Oh how much of God's unending love and grace do we take for granted? The fact that I can pray to my God any time of the day and know that he is listening to every word that I speak is more than enough. Every Sunday I feel his presence in Church and I know that He is with me. I feel him when I walk through trials or when I'm scared. He knows my name, how many hairs are on my head, what I'm thinking this exact moment, the contents of my heart. What other "god" makes the journey to you where you are? What other "god" allows you to be his without praying a certain amount of times a day or performing certain rituals? There is no one like our God y'all and that is GOOD NEWS.

Our God is perfect. And He made us perfect and I will elaborate on that in such great detail next week. But because of our sin we is also a wrathful God. We must pay for the wrongs that we commit every single day. The price is high, unpayable by the wealthiest of men. No good works can remove the price tag that is on your head. 

But that's okay, because our God is merciful and gracious. He is 3-in-1. He paid the price and took the punishment for every single sin that every single person in the entire world that ever has or is or ever will be has committed. He took the cup of wrath, drank it in full, and then turned it over because it was bone dry and said "It is FINISHED". Yes, don't tell me God isn't love because I am bathing in it. 

God deserves our praises, our adoration, our entire lives and beings. And hopefully by the end of this series we will all be able to agree on that. I think I could discuss who God is and how incredibly tangible he and his love is forever, but I will stop now and let us all meditate on this post, mostly on the last 2 paragraphs written above. Thank God for the glorious lover of souls that he is and remember his goodness. He is more than enough. 

The Blog if You Don't Know What You're Doing

Today I got the distinct honor of being able to speak to a group of girls in high school and middle school who are interested in possibly pursuing a career in the STEM field. When I was contacted about doing this, I was referred to as a "mentor" and immediately thought  "WOAH, I am not experienced enough for that word or this event". I decided to take it on because going out of your comfort zone is really important in my opinion and who wouldn't want to be called a mentor, am I right?  I went in expecting a group of girls who were all mini-me's, future engineers who had a passion for math and had a million questions about what it's really like to be a woman in engineering school. What I got was not that.

I walked into a group of girls who had no idea what they wanted to do. Some wanted to pursue accounting, athletics, education. Some thought they maybe sorta kinda wanted to go into something sciencey but they weren't sold on anything yet. At first I thought, why are you here? And then I realized that they are mini-me's. I was reminded that though I'm halfway through college and it feels like I've been fully committed to engineering for so long, there was a point in my life where I had no idea what I wanted to do. There was a point in my life where I wanted to be a teacher. There was even a point in my life where I wanted to be a mermaid-bus driver-lunch lady, but that combo was too complicated.

So I asked myself, do any of us really know what we are doing? I'm halfway through engineering school which implies that I should at least halfway know what the heck is going on. But the catch is, I honestly don't. I take my life day by day, never knowing what to expect or if I'm going to make it (I understand that is ridiculously irrational, I get it). I am trying to get an internship and soon a job and I honestly do not even know how to go about that. I don't know what my life will look like in 3 months. I don't know what my life will look like in 2 years. Or 5 years or 10 years or 20 years. And I don't think you do either.

But as I was driving home tonight my favorite Christian song circulating on the radio these days came on, and it was like water washing over me. It reminded me that no matter what I want, it doesn't matter. Its what God wants. His plan is best. If I fail a class, I will trust him. If I don't get an internship right away, I will trust him. If you have no idea what your day tomorrow looks like like me, let alone your next few years, trust Him. He's the only predictable, stable thing. The rock won't move. I think its super important to take a time out and reflect on this so I encourage you to listen to the video below because it truly is amazing. Im also a major believer in reading what inspires you, so I wrote out the best lyrics from the song below. If you listen to this song and read those words and your whole body isn't covered in goosebumps and you don't feel like you could do literally anything because God's got you, I don't know how to help you. God Bless, y'all.

"You are my strength and comfort,

You are my steady hand,

You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand,

Your ways are always higher,

Your plans are always good,

There's not a place where I'll go, You've not already stood

When you don't move the mountains I needed you to move,

When you don't part the waters I wish I could walk through,

When you don't give the answers as I cry out to you,

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you,"

God is an Onion.

Every night I read a chapter in my bible and try to learn from it as much as possible. Tonight, in one of the most short and unlikely of passages, God taught me an important lesson that I think we as Christians kind of adopted without necessarily backing it up with scripture. Tucked away in a segment of Mark 8 God taught me that he's actually an onion. 

I know what you're thinking: what lesson have we as Christians adopted that teaches us God is an onion? Well I'll obviously explain, but first thumb through your bible to Mark 8:22 and read to verse 26 (You all can do this, it's 5 verses). Basically Jesus spits in a blind dude's eyeballs (ew, Jesus) and asks him to describe what he sees. The blind man tells Jesus that he thinks he sees people, except they kinda look like giant trees to him. Now obviously the goal of Jesus' whole little miracle he's working on here is to get the blind man to not be blind. So Jesus rubs his hands around on this guy's eyes some more and all of the sudden the man can see "distinctly", as my bible reads. 

The first thing that came to my mind when I got through this section was times of season. In my own life this looks like my first semester of college last year. In others lives this could look like a loss of a job or financial trouble or any of the other thousands of seasons we can walk through in this life. God starts us on a journey and we get to a point where we think He should be done working his magic in our lives so we open up our eyes to look around and everything around us is all wrong.  How many people have given up on faith and God all together because of this premature peek at life and a hurried evaluation of God himself. We need only to have the faith of the blind man. To close our eyes yet again and allow the hand of God to touch us in our most vulnerable of places so that when God is ready for us to open our eyes we can see distinctly. 

So God is an onion. He's a process. There is no one-step acne treatment in God's eyes. You start at "Go" and you peel back layer after layer until God is done with his handiwork, not when we decide that we're done. Let's pray for the strength to be vulnerable to God and the faith to keep closing our eyes. 

Here's My Heart, Lord, Speak What is True

   Put your hand on your chest. You feel that constant thudding?  Social media often prompts you to do this so that you can feel your "purpose" beating inside of you, which is a little too abstract for me, but really, how cool is that? You're not even thinking about it and your heart is pumping about 2000 gallons of blood a day. 2000 gallons. When I start to think about what incredible things the organs are doing like that I begin to get really nervous because I know how intricate they are and how much heavy duty stuff they're doing. Luckily, however, I need not worry about such things because the maker of my heart is also the keeper of it. Unlike my car engine, when my heart stops working the manufacture of it collects the model and tweaks it until it runs forever. Cool, right?

   Today I went to a Tuesday night sermon/worship deal that I go to pretty regularly and we were worshipping to "Here's my heart" by Passion. The worship leader made some comment about how he heard no one knows what makes our heart start beating in the medical field and that's cool because we as Christians know what makes our hearts start beating. Well, he's partially correct. The medical field actually does know what makes our heart start beating, however they only know it in medical terms as "electricity". We know that this "electricity" very well may exist (yet I keep putting it in quotation marks for some reason...) but that it doesn't just happen on it's own. The maker of the stars and of life and of babies jump starts your heart and breathes life into your lungs and counts the hairs on your head before you're even depending on yourself to stay alive. I try to imagine what that must be like. The same God that created the Swiss Alps and Saturn and a sunflower wove my skin together, touched my heart (literally), blew up my lungs, and kissed the 643rd hair on my head. Let it sink in because that is CRAZY. You have literally been touched by God himself.

  I find it interesting that I know this but I don't think of it every day.  The only time I focus on my breathing is during my daily yoga (deep, cleansing breaths fellow yogis), but how precious is that breath? The only time I think about my heart beating is when I have one of those migraines where your heart is beating into your head, but how huge is each beat? I cry out to God again and again in school, asking for help and for success and for sanity, and again and again he grants just that to me, but every single semester I just do the same thing over again. When will I learn? When will I take what we might consider the most basic of bodily functions as precious as they are? When will I trust the one who made that heart or that breath in all areas of my life, always, without any doubts?

   I think I find it most interesting that we're the only creatures who live like this. One of the lines in my prayer journal from July 13th states:
     "As I sit in bed by my bedroom window, I hear thousands of crickets singing your praise in their own language. As soon as night falls they sing your praise until dawn and I think I could learn a lot from such a creature. You are higher, God."
The sun rises every day, warming the earth and reminding us of the great romance that is in Christ Jesus. The wind blows and unravels that same love story. The crickets chirp all night by my window, crying out to God. When will I learn that I should do the same? My heart is beating. My lungs are filling. God hasn't let me down yet, even when I thought he did. When will I wake up in the morning and sing praises until I fall back asleep?

So to God I say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't take as breath as preciously as I should. I'm sorry I doubt you again and again, even though I know that where I am is where you want me to be. You have gotten me through the very tip-top highs and the super down-hill lows. You have never once left my side. You have always provided for me, always been faithful, always been knitting me together as if I were still in your palm. And I can say right now in this moment, though I'm sure my human nature will cause me to doubt this in the future, You will always be by my side, always be providing, always be knitting. Even when it seems like you're not, I know that you are. Always.

"You are strong, you are sure,

You are life, you endure,

You are good, always true,

You are light breaking through,

You are more than enough,

You are here, you are love,

You are hope, you are grace,

You're all I have, You're everything,

Here's my heart Lord,

Here's my heart Lord,

Here's my heart Lord,

Speak what is true."

An Open Letter to My High School Best Friends

Dear High School (and present-day) Friend-group,

    

   Wow. One year ago from this very date, our lives were changed forever. On May 15th, 2014 we took pictures, smiling in red shiny robes laden with ropes of colors that represented all of the organizations that allowed us to make memories, and we pushed worries to the back of our minds for the camera. We knew that everything would be different from that point on whether we wanted to admit it to ourselves or not. No longer would I get the comfort of walking down the hall to one of your lockers or looking forward to another day of lunch with you all. No more parking lot after-school talks or Jonah's pizza runs. After that night, we all would be going to different schools in different parts of the state and we didn't really know what was next. On May 15th, 2014, a piece of my heart broke forever that I let no one know was missing. 

   Now, one year later, I still get to be blessed by your friendship. I see that even though we may not see each other every day like we used to, we always make time for a reunion. I know now that just because graduation is long over doesn't have to mean that our friendship is too. That, I believe, will never end. And as I look at the 2015 graduates to see how they are handling this phenomenon, I notice a lot of differences in our friend group than most others and I just had to tell you all:

   -Thank you for being there with me. Some of you I had been friends with since forever. Some of you I met Freshman year. Some of you I got close to Senior Year. All of you had a lasting impact on me. A lot of growing up happens in high school and I'm so lucky I got to do it with you all. On days I thought were the "worst days of my life", I knew I had someone to lean on. On days where I was over the moon, I was able to accept "congratulations" from you all. I never once doubted that I would receive support from you all. 

   -Thank you for being Jesus to and with me. As I said, a lot of growing up happens in high school. I see status after status about parties for the graduates and remember even my last few years in high school where I was often ridiculed for not taking part in the party crowd and I am forever thankful I had a group of people who supported me the entire time. Instead of going to bonfires with alcohol,we had bonfires with s'mores, Jesus, and parents. I can't count the number of times I was able to have in-depth biblical conversations with you all and that really stuck with me. When most kids talked about nothing with their friends during lunch, we organized a 30 minute devo/worship session for our high school. Instead of curse words, old Spongebob quotes filled our mouths (I can't believe I just wrote that in a somewhat mushy blog post...). Even the summer before we went to college when most kids were out getting sloppy, we spent our Tuesdays at a church in Nashville, worshiping together. I could go on and on here, but the point is I am thankful I had a group I could be an "outcast" with. I had good people with good intentions. I never once felt pressured to do anything and that is HUGE. I don't know how it would have been had I never found my way to you all, but I sure am glad I did. 

   -Thank you for continuing to want to be in my life. As I said before, I know now that we still get to see each other and hang out. That's huge to me. I'm so grateful that you all consider me a big enough part of your life to continue to want to invest in me. I look forward to our "reunions" any chance I can get them. 

I was blessed to have walked the halls with you all for four years. I am more than blessed to continue to have you in my life. I catch myself laughing over an old joke or something funny that happened a few years ago constantly. My memories of us from high school will never fade. My experiences of us from now until we are too old to physically see each other will never end. Love you all, thanks for being there. 

Being "Who You Are" is a SIN

Alright, being who you are isn't really a sin, I just wanted to get your attention. 

No, being who you are isn't really a sin, but then again, it is. We live in a society that drowns children in this ideology to be who they really are, to not let anyone tell them differently. We want them to be independent, make up their own mind, do their own thing and not let anyone tell them that it's not okay.  

But who are we, really? At the core of who we all are is pretty gross. We are truly evil creatures, and it begins as children. We tell lies, we're selfish, we're mean as a snake. We hate the people who raised us, we physically hurt others for making us mad, we use our words to bring others down. We let jealousy overtake our relationships, as well as lust, not to mention sexual immorality. We hate, we covet, we curse the God who made us. Some of us kill, spill blood, break down the body that was made just for our own souls. We are vile, nasty things. All of us. This is the core of who we are. This isn't something that is disputable, this is fact. Read a psychology book, it's in there. 

Is this what you want to teach your children? 

When Christ preached his most controversial of sermons, he said that we as Christians should die to ourselves. We read that now and think "Dang, Jesus, cool it down!", but it's totally true. We literally are called to make every effort to kill the human in us. We are told to take up our own crosses (think electric chair, a killing machine) and follow Jesus, no questions asked. Now, many lessons can be taught from this one statement, but to me Jesus really is saying this: 

               Today, when you accept me as your Lord and Savior, you are no longer you. You are me. You must eat my body and drink my blood. You must take up your own cross, carry it on your back, then die hanging from it. And then, you must become transformed as I did. When you decided to listen to Satan over God all the way back in the Garden of Eden, you decided who you were. Not anymore. You are now light of this Earth. When you seek me and stay in my word and let me take you through this process of transformation, you gain goodness, patience, joy, peace, happiness, love, self-control, kindness, and gentleness. You aren't you anymore, you get to be me.

If the Bible says it's a sin, it's a sin. I don't care if you were "born that way" or if you think "it's not really bad for you", you check absolutely everything you do with that book and with God. Because who you are deep down is not who you want to be, I promise. Prison is full of people who were being who they really were. 

And At Last I See the Light!

Today as I sat down in the church pew and looked at what the title of today's sermon was, I instincitively let out a sigh. "Give Like Jesus". It's the beginning of the year, I thought,  it's time for the annual plea for money. I was somewhat mistaken, however. Yes, an amount of it was indeed about giving financially, something that a college kid doesn't really have the luxury of doing so much. But a large part of the sermon was not just about giving money like Jesus, but giving yourself in general like Jesus. The beginning of the sermon was led by a guest speaker who was actually a missionary serving at an international Christian school in Germany. I'm not going to go into what she talked about aside from a statement that she made that hit home with me (and i'm sure will hit home with a lot of you, too). When asked how she made the decision to go into missions, she told of how she was living as most of us in America do, in intentional blindness.

Intentional Blindness. 

Love that statement. One of Satan's best tools here in this country is comfort. Comfort can be such an evil thing. From birth we are taught to strive for the "American Dream". Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married, have a family, live happily ever after. How many of us are living in this intentional blindness? We know that God isn't just calling us to put money into an offering plate. We know we actually need to be in the mission field, being intentional in people's lives, investing in them so that they may know the greatest of loves. But do we? Of course not. That would be uncomfortable. That doesn't fit in our 9-5, 5 day a week work schedule (and definitely not in any of those work schedules that don't look as good as that). We can't fit that around our class schedule. It's never a good time.

Most of us don't have a clue what joy can come from being fully obedient to God, and answering that call to live beyond ourselves and our little American Dream. Look at the story of Esther. She knew she had to go before the throne of the king, her own husband, without being summoned so that the Jews might be spared. This broke a very sacred law in the culture, and she was to be executed immediately, no questions asked. However, Esther was obedient to God, despite knowing what her fate would likely be. Her life was spared, as well as the lives of thousands of Jews.

You will never experience the full extent of God's goodness, blessings, and presence unless you take that step of obedience. Saying "Yes, God" and actually doing what God tells you to do next are two completely different things. And, incase you were wondering, there will never come a time when it's comfortable to do God's will. It will always be hard, uncomfortable, taxing, maybe even financially burdensome. But I can promise you that He will never let you fall. Ever.

If You Ain't Talkin' Money, I Don't Wanna Talk

Excuse the silly title. It has next to nothing to do with this blog post, but it got your attention :)

It really bugs me when someone asks me a question or when I'm telling someone a story and they do not give me their undivided attention. I pay everyone I talk to with that respect and not receiving it in return is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. If you don't feel like I'm important enough for you to stop talking for a whole minute while I get a chance to speak, we most likely will never be friends. Letting someone talk while you just focus on their words is one of the greatest kindnesses you can pay a person.

I have a friend that will make you feel like 100 bucks just simply because he listens to what you're saying, looks you in the eye when you're talking, and asks you questions. We aren't really close at all, but I feel like he has invested in my life after talking about the simplest of things simply because he pays everyone he talks to with the kindness of listening to their words. It's really important to me. Nothing ruins a moment like when you're telling someone a story and they turn to someone else and start talking or interrupt you to tell their own story or with just a random thought. I'm telling you, nothing in this world makes me feel more worth it than when people listen to me, even if it's a 30 second conversation. It's important.

It's also important for us Christians. We can't expect someone to allow us to invest in their lives if we don't hear them out. There is no other way to make someone feel worthy for the love of Christ than just looking at them when they're talking and not interrupting. If we as Christians paid this simple decency to someone we are trying to witness to, how much more likely are they to come to church with us? How much more willing will they be to listen to us tell the Gospel if we have already taken the liberty to listen to them first?

There is a very loving bible-thumper that frequently visits my college campus to bring the great news of hell to all the open-minded college students walking to class. (Please tell me you picked up on all my sarcasm- He's a crazy, mean man and college students are, contrary to popular belief, some of the least open-minded people out there). This man stands on a concrete pillar, screams at students, and then allows students to come talk to him. Basically what this means is he allows them to bicker with him. He lets them ask him a question, cuts them off before they're done to put in his lengthy response, and when it's their turn to respond again,  he does the exact same thing. You can imagine how effective his visits are. Students don't feel heard or wanted, and all this man accomplishes doing is turning people who may have been won over for Christ away because now they associate all Christians with this crazy man who does not give two flips about what they have to say.

This is not who we are. Jesus was a teacher, but he also was very much a listener. He promises to be a shoulder to cry on, a shelter. You can't cry on someone's shoulder who isn't willing to listen to your sob story. Jesus listens. God listens. We were made to listen twice as much as we are talking. There is nothing that will make a person feel more worthy, loved, important. It's an easy thing to do to show the love of Christ. And it's just a human decency.

So try to have an intentional conversation with someone today. Look them in the eye, ask questions. This conversation needs not to last over 2 minutes unless you want it to, but I promise it will be the highlight of someone's day.

Though the Earth Trembles, God

Tonight, as I prepare for bed, I picked up a journal that I worked on all summer before college. The wonderful Mrs. Leslie Hudson, also known as my former Sunday School teacher, had challenged us to read the book of Psalms in 30 days, make categories in a notebook that would relate to our lives (happy, sad, fear, ect.), and then categorize the Psalms. I like to think of it as my emergency God book. Tonight I needed some emergency God. I have been suffering from awful sleep insomnia ever since I've started college. You all know this if you paid any attention to my long rant that I posted at 2 am (not the best of ideas I've had, I admit). It's the end of the semester, I have an exam at 8 in the morning, and I just want rest. So I flipped to my little category labeled "fear". Honestly, I don't know why I chose fear because fear has absolutely no correlation with sleep but I did, I turned to fear. And here are the first 2 passages that I read.

Psalm 46: "Therefore we will not be afraid. Though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the sea...."

Psalm 62: "Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him."

I didn't need to open my bible and flip to Psalm 46 to see what the rest of that sentence was. I had written it exactly like it is shown above in my journal because I knew that on nights like this that would be all I needed. I don't need to know the ending. I need to know that I will not be afraid no matter what comes my way. No matter if the mountains in my life are toppling over or even if in real life the actual earth began to shake and the mountains literally did fall over, I will not fear. My God is bigger than that. He's bigger than my insomnia. He's bigger than my exams. He's bigger than the degree I will earn, all the success I will ever have in my life, any burden I will ever bear or pain I will ever feel. He's bigger than anything in my life. He always will be. That's comforting.

Psalm 62 was the cherry on top. Rest easy because I'm exhausted? Rest easy because I've studied until I've driven myself crazy? No. Rest easy simply because my hope comes from Him. I don't need another explanation or another reason. I just need God, who is always true and is always right and always comes out on top. My soul is in the hands of the maker of the stars. I will rest easy.

Though the mountains fall into the seas and the earth shakes. Though the skies turn into fire, and the waters rise to our necks. Though my body is exhausted physically and my brain even more far-gone than that, I will rest easy. My God wins.

It's the Fries Talking

Today served as a fairly large milestone in my life to me on a personal/spiritual level. It was the last day of classes of my first semester of college. Big deal, I got 7 more heading my way before I can throw a real party. But really, big deal. I know this is fairly a common thing these days, but to me its extraordinary. As many of you know, the path I am on right now is not one that I chose but one that God chose. I wouldn't be at the school I'm at or pursuing what I'm majoring in if God hadn't intervened. Sometimes, while I'm sitting in my room studying for hours, I regret this decision. Not because I don't absolutely love what I'm studying, but because I see people with the major I intended to pursue hanging out with friends and attending lots of school events. They "cram all night" (they don't) for a test in one of their classes and the test barely compares in difficulty to a normal quiz I might take or a homework assignment I have. It's pretty crappy sometimes. But I remind myself that I'm not just here for me, I'm here for the Lord's work, which is a super weird thing to hear coming from someone not majoring in anything directly theological at a school that is about as secular as they come, but I am. I love studying what I am studying and pushing myself, and today I reached a milestone. A semester of saying yes to God's plan and to pushing through the adversity that I face literally every day (no one takes me seriously in my major because I'm a girl and I wear makeup) and totally trusting him when NOTHING has gone the way I thought it would. So, with that huge introduction, here's the actual meat of the blogpost. The REAL college. This is the list of lies about college I grew up hearing and the reality of these lies. So sit back, relax, and laugh at my life. It's totally cool, I'll be laughing with you.

***Disclaimer: None of these terrible awful things may actually happen to you. My dumb roommate actually lost weight and eats lots of pizza and has beautiful skin and sleeps 12 hours a day (Hate you Bailee). ***

1) You're Going to be SO Fit: This was the thought running through my head when I first toured the college I currently attend. LIE. This might be an easy task for certain majors (let's be real here), but engineering is not one of those. If you want good grades, you find time to work out in an empty study room once or twice a week, something I do quite often these days. If you don't really care about your grades, go to the gym daily. I know many people who do this and their grades are mediocre at best, but hey, that's their choice. I went through my last two years of high school working out daily and my whole life playing sports so this fact is still pretty hard for me to deal with, but we're getting there.

2) Our Food Accommodates EVERYONE: FALSE. College food is the definition of suck. Our cafeteria comes complete with tasteless food and a staff that is so comfortable with our students that they feel free to take on our mom's job of yelling at us. You then find yourself eating at the restaurants around campus a lot, which gets old quickly. Yes, I'm saying it, Chick-Fil-A ain't cutting it anymore. I actually had a breakdown in my dorm about 20 minutes ago because I don't remember the last meal I had where fries weren't served. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a mom who cooked really healthy, amazing food every night. So this one's for you mom, get to cooking.

3) You will Get the Best Sleep of Your Life: Oh yeah I've bought into this one for a while. However, I underestimated just how fried my brain would get. I now find myself so wound up with stress that insomnia and I have become best friends. The other night I actually found myself solving calculus problems in my head while trying to sleep. Many nights have I woken up dozens of times because my dreams were filled with the homework I had just worked on or how I could have solved that problem on my Chemistry quiz. I went through high school getting 8+ hours of sleep no problem. I could fall asleep just about anywhere. Now I can't even escape from school in my own sleep people. There should be a scholarship for that.

4) Acne is a Thing of the Past: Perhaps the most cruel lie of all. I've had a mild problem with acne since middle school, however over the course of my senior year my acne had almost completely disappeared. Now my face could be mistaken for a pepperoni pizza. I think the culmination of lack of exercise, shoving greasy food into my face, and the restless nights all piled onto of the crazy amount of stress that I have is the main cause here (I'm working on all the above, bear with me). Oh, and incase you're interested, this reason what why I had today's mental breakdown. It's all good though, I swore off french fries.

5) And all the rest: You will be so much poorer than you ever thought you would be, you will miss your friends from high school more and more every day, anytime you see an animal will be a big deal because colleges have issues with animals, (if you go to a state school) your professors won't give 2 craps about you and the parking will suck, you will pay out the whazoo for your education, everyone around you will suddenly start turning into liberals, your chances of becoming a stripper skyrocket.

Yeah, I think that about covers it all. Now, there are very many wonderful, great things about college. However, no one ever wants to complain about good things. I'm hoping I will discover more and more good things as time moves on, but you never know how God works. I could hate my life for 7 more semesters, but I'm here for Him. Bottom line is, I don't care how crappy college is, if that's where God wants me then that's where God wants me. I will work as hard as I possibly can to make it, but only for Him. That's where I draw strength from because I can NOT do this on my own. I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough determination, I would go insane. God is the ONLY reason I'm doing as well as I'm doing (contrary to the impression you may have just gotten). I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for him making it possible. He's piled on blessing after blessing for me to be here right now, complaining about these things. I'm not about to give up on Him. Truth is, I kinda love being an engineer. Can this college thing just happen in the comfort of my own home?

Thank you for reading my rant. I promise my life isn't the joke I just made it seem. I'm extremely happy and blessed :)

"But my God you never will"

Quick update on my life: I'm in college, I have a hard major, I am stressed and don't have time to think.

That about sums it up without going into too much boring detail. I've had some ups and some downs in the last month, many of which were cleaned up after dropping a class taught by a professor who thought very highly of himself. All in all the college experience is getting progressively better, even as I head into a very hectic and stressful week.

The worst thing about college, for me at least, is the intimidation. I am a woman engineering major, which means I am among the a vast minority of people. I go to a college where every freshmen enters majoring in some type of engineering field and quickly changes to a business major. Engineering is HUGE here. Definitely the best college to go to for engineering in the state, and almost in the entire southeast. Engineering companies around here only hire graduates from my school in a lot of cases. But think about how incredibly intimidating that is! I am in a male-dominated field, and I am by far not the smartest student in the college. I live every day in intimidation and awe that I can actually do the things that I am doing. I mean, a year ago I was going to go to a private school and become an elementary school teacher. My life has not always looked like what it does right now. The difference is God stepped in and told me what he wanted me to pursue. He laid on my heart mission work that I can do as a Civil Engineer. He put a love of math in me (something I was NOT born with) and a fascination with structures. And so I made the switch and here I am. And I'm doing pretty great so far.

Granted, it will get much, much harder as I get into higher level classes. But I trust God. I know without a doubt that I am in the major God wants me in. He blessed me with scholarships specifically for engineering, something I know he wouldn't have done with this is not where I was supposed to be.  I know that right now I'm not studying for me, I'm studying for the gospel. I will not ignore the mission calling that God has on my heart. I can't wait to see how that unfolds, but I'm not giving up on it. But bottom line is, I'm not in school for me. Which is why I am working my butt off. I'm doing the Lord's work right now. And I truly believe that. It may sound crazy, but I truly believe it.

The only thing that is getting me through it is knowing that God is stronger. I go back to a worship song I have sang many many times. Part of it goes a little like this:
"I may be weak,
but Your spirit's strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
but my God You never will"

Whenever I'm intimidated or scared about what the future is going to look like this, I remember these verses. I know that I can do NONE of this on my own. Not joking, none of it. I would be doing terribly in college. I am not strong enough to handle this pressure by myself and I know that. I know that sounds crazy because many people go through college without Christ, but it's been a tough transition and on my own I am not emotionally or mentally capable of handling it. But God is. And God never fails. And I'm here by his calling, by his plan. So I know he's got my back, and I'm going to follow him throughout this journey, no matter if it takes 6 years and I lose all my scholarships and I'm a nervous wreck. I'm where I need to be.

I challenge you all to find exactly what it is that God is leading you to. It may not even be a degree or a call to the mission field in the sense that most people see it as. It could be something totally different and crazy. I just want you to listen to that calling and stick with it. It will be intimidating, but let God amaze you. He will work wonders in you, no matter how crazy it is, and you will push through. I'm going to use the very over-used bible verse Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". It's over-used because its so incredibly true. Go out there and be awesome. And listen to this worship song because it is the bomb. (ps. I'm a civil engineering major, not a computer engineering major, so you're going to have to copy and past the link below into your browser, but it's worth it)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMVvqI1-tM4

Not Even Sure What To Call This One

WARNING: I am going to write this as nicely as I can muster... no promises though.

If any of you guys are my Facebook readers then you probably think this particular blogpost is going to be about an ignorant student who told my speech class that America is corrupt. You however are wrong because believe it or not, I ran into even more idiotic people. No idea where this is going to go but I assume it will probably be a rant so brace yourselves:

For the past 2 weeks on Tuesday, a crazy psychopath comes to my College and stands on the main patio of our campus and twists Bible verses around while screaming at students. We all know the Gospel (for these purposes I will be condensing this like a ton and also will be using the short version that most of the people 2 generations above my own would use): We are sinners, we deserve hell, Christ took our sins. If you are my age you would realize how... unappealing, I suppose, this sounds, and you would revise it to look more like the truth: we are sinners, God is love beyond our understanding, he can help us out as people as well as help us out with our eternity, yadda yadda yadda. My generation prefers this second approach for multiple reasons that I will not delve into now. Once we mature as Christians, it is a lot easier to swallow the whole "we deserve hell" thing. I'm like completely okay with hearing this, I understand it completely, and this fact actually makes my relationship with God better. Nevertheless, my generation generally takes a different approach to the Gospel.

With that being said, this crazy preacher literally stands on a pillar and screams in essence "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!" in this face of students as they walk to class.... very encouraging right before an exam I must say.  My purpose is not to necessarily talk about this crazy man, however I will include some vital information: The man believes a variety of incredibly not true things. The one under discussion today was that people could lose their salvation just because they sinned. Here is what he meant: He believes in Jesus therefore he is a christian therefore he no longer sins.  He believes that if you are a christian and sin you lose your salvation. One of my good friends was pulling out verses left and right disproving this and the guy would not have it. Ultimately the guy said "Are you a Christian?" and when my friend replied yes he said "Well then I'm not really here for you. I'm moving on." SO, what Im trying to get to is that this guy claimed he was here for non believers.

Well, I was standing in the back listening to all of the nonsense comments being made while the crazy psycho was talking to individuals. A series of events that completely disturbed me occurred as follows:

1. A Giant dude and scrawny little dude were talking. I couldn't tell if they were honestly stupid or a little drunk or both. I'm leaning towards both. Anyway, the big, giant, dumber one said something along the lines of:
"DUDE *obnoxious drunk/stupid laughter* What if.... what if like.... like everyone just was doing shrooms out in the desert and like... wrote the Bible man *more obnoxious drunk/stupid laughter*"

Being as this comment was made after a slew of other ignorant ones, I couldn't take it no longer and politely informed them that that indeed would be absolutely crazy being as like 90% of religions use the same Old Testament so like how crazy would it be if they had all been on shrooms and written the exact same thing??
The idiots thought I was agreeing with them.
They then talked about how maybe they all just Plagiarized after one another. This, of course, was after the big one announced "I ate beer for lunch man *obnoxious hick laughter*"
Moving on.

2. My friend came to talk to me about when Jesus talked about how a fig tree bearing no fruit needs to be cut off. Not going to teach on this, if you want clarity google it please. If you understand the passage, move on.

A pink haired girl with her head half shaved came up, randomly in the middle of my conversation, and said in a very hippy-esce tone "Yeah, I mean by fruit don't you mean like peace and love man?"

No, hippy girl. No, that is not what fruit is.

She then said "Cause, I mean, this dude is hate. He ain't love, man. He's hate. He's worse than Satan."

WORSE THAN SATAN. I don't think this point even needs to be addressed. If THIS is her version of Satan, the vision of hell that she has in her head is paradise man.

3. A long haired freaky man ran up behind crazy preacher dude and yelled "Hale Satan!!!" to which the pink haired hippy said "Yeah, man!" and then went and hugged a random dude like pink-haired hippies would do.


Not really sure where to go with this. There is no lesson here. Just a lot of sadness. My heart is deeply pained by these people and their beliefs. They have honestly put no thought into it at all, not even a little. And anything we say they will be turned off by because being a Christian in that crowd right now is sooooo "not cool".

My bad though, I thought we were in college. Not middle school.

Your Glory is so Beautiful

   We live in a scared, fragile world. You have to really think about what you're about to say because someone's feelings could get hurt. More people are in counseling now than ever before. It's always someone else's fault and there is no such thing as "sucking it up", but more like "you owe me". We live in a world full of sinners who want to proclaim they are saints.

    This theory has desensitized our churches and has given our people a feeling of false self-righteousness. 

We have tricked our churches and done the nations injustice. Our congregations are filled with people who believe they are good enough to get into heaven on their own, or with just a little bit of Jesus. We have completely forgotten the gospel. One of my pet peeves is churches who don't preach the Old Testament. I think it is so incredibly crucial to know where we came from and why we needed Jesus in the first place. I'm not talking about just reading Genesis 3 occasionally either. I have spent far more time in the Old Testament than I have in the New Testament because it makes me realize what my human nature tells me to do, the grace and love of Christ, and the holiness of God. Now you go to church and listen to a preacher spin a single New Testament verse into a lovey dovey mess that has lost it's original meaning altogether. We need the Old Testament to make us realize that we are sinners, we turn away from God daily, and we NEED Jesus. 

But the problem isn't that the churches don't talk about the Old Testament. The problem is that churches don't want to talk about sinners. Recently someone told me that they felt uncomfortable when someone was sharing the gospel and told them that we all deserve to go to hell. I was so surprised. Isn't that what the entire gospel is? The Bible tells a story and isn't this the essence of the message? 

Romans 3:23-24 "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ."

So why aren't we talking about our sins? Why do we feel uncomfortable when someone points out that we are sinners?

How can one truly appreciate what Christ has done for them without acknowledging that they are indeed sinners. With me its a matter of worship. I worship Christ by acknowledging that through Him I have obtained wholeness and holiness even. And I'm sick and tired of our generation, our country telling Christians that they're good enough with or without Christ. 

Use your unholiness in worship next time you go to church, or even right now. Embrace what Christ has done for us and the redemption that comes from him. Because we are sinners, we have fallen short, and we are in need of a Savior. 

Below is one of my favorite worship songs, "Your Glory" by Alls Sons and Daughters. If you get 6 minutes of free time, listen to it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBWFzVfJ5-0

Aint it Fun Livin' in the Real World?

Well here I am, sitting in my itty bitty dorm room, writing a blog post. The last 2 days have been filled with such mixed emotions from every end of the spectrum but I think the one word that just ties it all together perfectly is "overwhelming".  Absolutely nothing I have had planned in my head for many many months now has actually happened as I had planned it. From the bed loft I thought I would buy not fitting my bed to my dorm being too small to actually fit the bed loft I did end up buying in the way I thought it would be. Adjusting to living in a room a little bit bigger than my bathroom meant for 2 people and sharing a bathroom with 20 other girls has been different. but it has definitely been a good different.

God has definitely been trying to teach me before classes even begin. I have learned that you have GOT to roll with the punches or you will sink. When you graduate high school, the crap that life throws at you gradually becomes more and more uncomfortable. I am super surprised that right off the bat things became more difficult. You have to adjust. I really do enjoy dorm life but it definitely isn't the comfortable life that most high school seniors have in their heads. Things have changed so much in the short time that I have been here and it would really have been easy if I just had given up and decided that I hated college that first day. But I didn't. I sat back and wondered why God would give me this cup. He did it in the name of teaching 

From this point on, I will always look for solutions to problems in a more realistic way than ever before. These are real life problems that I am encountering, things that I have to fix on my own. I am so glad that I was introduced to this right off the bat. It seems like such a simple thing that most people think is common sense, but it's not. You have to be on your own, figuring out your own problems for it to really connect. 

For the rest of our lives, problems will arise. Set backs will come. Everything we have had planned in our heads for years will not go as planned. And that's okay. Our God is with us and he has a plan. And things always go according to his plans. That is enough comfort for the next 4 years of college and a year getting my masters and a career and a husband and some kids. Or you know, whatever God has planned for me. 

Have fun out there fellow college students! The fun has just begun. And adults out there, remember this lesson too. God bless!

There's a Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh...

Tonight I celebrate my graduation from my "baby christian" stage. Tonight was the graduation that my Sunday school class set up for the seniors. I can not begin to describe how incredibly blessed I have been through this group of people. I have truly witnessed the hand of God reach down to touch the kids in this group. I have seen almost every one of them break down in worship and weep because they couldn't possibly comprehend how great, how loving, how gracious our Jesus is. And through witnessing that, I have truly came to appreciate the beauty behind such actions. Being with this group of teens has blessed me in ways I will never again be blessed. Teenagers seem to more easily be able to swallow their pride and get on their knees (or sometimes even literally lay face-down to the ground) and cry out to God. They put hands on each other and they pray wholeheartedly. They put their hands out and they scream and sing  and cry because that is the kind of worship that our God deserves. They become Jesus and they rake yards and they make soup and they brush kids hair and they sweep floors and they carry tables and they do what needs to be done in the church and in the mission world. Adults have problems with these things. They don't want to go in front of a congregation and admit that they have flaws or that they haven't appreciated Jesus the way that he deserves. They pray in extravagant words because they think that's the way to go. They mumble worship music in hopes that no one will be able to hear the words that they sing because they are ashamed of their voice when they sing. They have work and a family and they cant go to Africa or the other side of the country or across the state or even up the road because that's somebody else's job and they have a life. It seems like the teen Jesus and the adult Jesus are 2 different people. However, I believe wholeheartedly that my group of teens, my sunday school class, my brothers and sisters will help to change this stereotype. I have watched them change lives and churches and communities. I have seen God use them. I can't wait to see how God will continue to guide them.

It has been my pleasure and privilege to be a member of such a wonderful group of people. It's a bittersweet moment, but I know that God will continue to bless the next phase of my life. It will be a different experience but a good one. This is a moment in time, however. Never again will I see such blessings as these. Praise the Good Lord.

For Better or For Worse

In the past 6 months, my world has been spun out of control. Almost everything that could go wrong has, whether it be with me or my family. It has been tough and there have been numerous times when that little booger called doubt started creeping up on me. Dealing with hard times and still praising God the whole way through is easily one of a human's biggest weaknesses. We believe in a loving God who only wants the best for us and is guiding our every footstep at all times. However, it is SO hard to keep on believing this when you are personally walking through a living hell. What if I told you that even in the worst of times, when we are in the middle of one of our biggest storms, he's still that same God that I described above.

Society sucks. Human nature sucks. This world SUCKS. I mean it really is baaaad. Our society tells us to do what makes us happy, while our human nature tells us that sin is what makes us happy, while this world (which is controlled by Satan; 2 corin 4:4) tries to throw everything it has at us to make sure that we do give into this temptation. You wanna be gay? Be gay. It's okay, it makes you happy, anyone who says its not okay is a bigot and not truly a Christian. You wanna get drunk? Do it. You're having a fun time and anyone who says its not okay is judgmental.  You wanna have pre-marital sex? It feels good, so do it. Anyone who says its not okay doesnt understand what forgiveness is. You dont want to believe in Jesus? Okay, that's fine. You're a good person so you'll go to heaven anyway. Anyone who says differently has the wrong idea of God. These are all things that our society, our nature, our world tell us and they're all WRONG. These are just a few examples of the lies Satan tells us and the sad part about it is these days most people take these as the truth and they falsely use bible verses to justify them. I included this little section to make a point. What our nature tells us is love and is good and is right usually is not anywhere near correct. Just because you're going through hard times doesnt mean that God isn't on your side anymore. Just because it's gotten rough doesnt mean you can abandon ship and turn to one of the lies mentioned above for an escape. That is NOT who God is. 

So who is God? Lamentations 3: 22-24 say this:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

This verse tells us that God loves us SO much that we are given second chances over and over again, every single day. It tells us his love and his kindness NEVER fail, meaning that he is always good no matter what the circumstance is. It tells us that these kindnesses and this love is new every morning and he will always provide for us every day. It tells us he is faithful to do this, meaning he will never fail to treat us to these kindnesses and this love. And it gives us as example of how to act at all times, saying no matter what happens in life, God is more than enough for me and his timing is worth waiting on. 

So your family/friends die. You lose your job. You flunk out of school. You are terminally ill. You are homeless. You are addicted to drugs or sex or a sin. You are in jail. You are in thousands of dollars worth of debt. You life is seriously screwed up. 

What now? Are you going to give up on God? Are you going to believe the lies that Satan will try and is trying right at this very second to feed you? Are you going to turn to one of those sins mentioned above to try and escape or to rebel and accept this new false idea of the "hippie God", the God who is okay with whatever you want to do as long as it makes you happy? Or are you going to take God's word for what it is and start believe that all things work together for your good. Are you willing to stand up in the middle of the turmoil and the mess and worship the creator? Are you willing to dig deep into the word of God and seek what is truthful and develop a relationship with him and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior?

Or are you going to sit on your butt, cry, complain, and feel sorry for yourself? 

God is good all the time. All the time God is good. Even in death, he is good. Even in loss, he is there. Are you willing to find him? 

The First 40 Days Of Jesus- The Strength of Mary

   When we think of Christmas, we think of Luke chapter 2. We focus very little on Mary and Joseph and all the other characters brought in and we focus a lot on Jesus. And that is 100% okay, but when we narrow our sight on a single concept in a chapter in the bible (because we as an American society have made this chapter into NOTHING but Christmas), we lose sight of ALL that God wants us to see. This past month, my Sunday School teacher has been hitting Luke 2 hard and has been encouraging us to dig a little deeper, and this blog post is based on some things I learned about parenting from what she has told us/I have stringed together. (If you have never read Luke 2, I encourage you to do so right now and then return back to this point)

   Let's put ourselves in Mary's position: 

• She's a newly engaged young girl, historically most likely around the age of 13 or 14. 
• An angel has appeared to her and told her that she will birth the Messiah at her young age, even though she is most definitely a virgin
• Her fiance tried to quietly divorce her, only to decide to stay by her side because an angel came to try and explain what's going on to him. 
• Everyone around her thinks she is insane or not telling the truth. 

    I'm sorry, but we take this lightly when reading. This is HEAVY. If any of us were in this position we would most likely complain at every point we possibly could and not put as much trust in God as Mary did. It's easy to "trust God" through the little waves, but Mary went through something not a single other person in the history of man kind ever did. I can not imagine what was going through her head. 

   When we fast forward to Jesus' birth, we see that Mary had to get up and hike her very pregnant self up to her home town (which was a couple of days of travel via camel), where she went into labor with just Joseph to help her. Most people believe she actually had to give birth in a cave, although some do believe that it was literally a stable. The point of that part of the story was Mary had to give birth in the lowliest, most uncomfortable of places. 

   About 40 days after Jesus was born, he was to be consecrated in the temple. While Mary and Joseph were there, a man was overtaken by the holy spirit and led to basically tell Mary that her son will die and she will be so deeply affected by the death that it will "pierce her soul" as well. Mary had to have known before that moment that Jesus would die. When she found out that he was the Messiah, she would know his fate. However, I do believe that this was the first time that it really hit home with her. 

   From this chapter, we see that not only was Mary's life flipped completely upside down forever, but that she handled it flawlessly. Seriously, she was favored for a reason. I think God waited until the perfect person came along who could handle this situation because it truly is a weight to carry. Mary was strong, she was a lady, and she kept God's word even when it hurt. SO many lessons can be learned from Mary, but the one I want to focus on right now is this:

Parents, be Mary. Prepare for "your soul to be pierced too"

   Yes, I know that's very heavy. But it's true. There isn't an experienced parent out there that won't tell you when their kids finally left the nest, it was one of the hardest things they ever had to go through. However, this pain is prophesied from the very birth of the child. Did Mary hold Jesus back? Do we ever get the hint that Mary begged Jesus not to go through with the Crucifiction? No. Mary wanted God's will for Jesus to be done, and it was. But it was painful. This wasn't a surprise to Mary- she knew this pain would come. But she put Jesus' relationship with God first. This is what parents need to focus on most. If your kid wants to do foreign missions, or do anything away from home, don't discourage them. Please. Don't tell them not to go because YOU don't want them to go. Parents and children should seek God together. Learn something from Mary. God is the ultimate Father,the ultimate parent. He knows what is best. Reflect on the strength of Mary and want that strength for your children. 

   

Hebrews 12:8

Doubt (verb): to feel uncertain about; to be afraid of. How often do you and I doubt? Sometimes our doubt is visible and we are open about it. Sometimes it’s in moments where there is a little voice in the back of our heads that is barely whispering but plants the tiniest seed of doubt. We all doubt. And it will forever serve as one of the biggest cripples for Christians. I find that the moments when we as Christians experience most of our doubt is when we feel like we’re being punished. We can’t hold up under the pressure, so we doubt God’s love or maybe even his existence. Trial and tribulation causes us to question God’s motives.

          Many people will tell you ways to deal with the tribulation in order that you don’t doubt. There are a lot of empty promises out there that we easily get confused with what God actually tells us about the things we’re going through. Cliché statements like “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” are statements that you won’t find in the bible. We make up our own comforting words to convince ourselves that we’re going through this struggle but that it won’t be hard. But what does the bible actually say?

          Hebrews 12:7-8 “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined- and every one undergoes discipline- then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” This verse tells us A LOT about how God thinks of us. How often does Satan whisper to us “God doesn’t love you” when the storms of life rage on? More so, how often do we believe it! We agree with Satan 9 times out of 10, but Satan is a liar. The bible, God’s written word, tells us that we are undergoing our hardships because we are true children of God. Does it say that it will be easy? Not at all. Jesus never once said this life would be easy. In fact, he was pretty upfront about the trials we will endure. Too often we let the severity of our storm persuade us into doubt.

          I assume that many of you who read this paper are parents yourself. God makes sure that you personally will be able to relate to what he’s saying by adding the tidbit in about parenting. It is a fact of life that you have to discipline your kids in order for them to mature and to grow. Do you like it? Of course not. It’s hard for you and it’s hard for the kids. As a child, a spanking or a time out is devastating. To them, it’s just as bad as anything you are going through in your “grown up life”. But you still have to put them through it. God wants you to relate to this verse with your own life.

          It may be tough on both parties, but God is our Father. He disciplines us, his true children, in order that we may come out stronger and wiser than before. We’re not being punished, we’re being refined. This is such a hard thing to keep in mind when we are at that point of struggle, but it is essential. Even when life is raging on, we must continue to seek God, continue to love God, and continue to believe God. Satan is a liar. Any non-believer could tell you this. Don’t let a liar talk you out of the most intense love and experiences you could possibly imagine. Take hold of the life God gave you, along with its ups and downs, and live. 

NOT Just A Talk For Girls

    So every few months, my church has something for the ladies in the youth group called "Girl's Night Out". Basically every time there is a different food bar (i.e. backed potato bar, hot chocolate bar, etc), speakers from ladies within the church, and some sort of video that is meant to empower us as women. In case you aren't the usual girl or you happen to be a man (yay for boys on blogs!), most girls have this really huge problem with always trying to be the best, and it completely wears them down. So a lot of the times, the videos shown are geared towards those kinds of girls. This time it was different.
     I'm the unusual girl mentioned above. I don't think I'm too fat or too skinny. I don't think I'm super dumb or incredibly smart. I don't think I'm a loser but I don't consider myself Mrs.Popular. I think I am your average run-of-the-mill girl who you could find just about anywhere. I'm normal. Therefore, videos about not hating yourself do NOTHING for me. I don't hate myself, I have no reason to. So this video (which is posted below, go watch it!!!) reached out to meet every girl (or boy!) at the place that they are with themselves, and then starts to tells you what every single person on the face of earth wants to be told.
    In case you don't know me, I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for a most of my high school career, we don't go to the same school, and we try to be as godly as we can be. When we go astray we fix it. We pray together. We talk about lessons learned in our bibles. We study together. We seriously do try. Well, he treats me like I am God's gift to mankind. He says something incredibly sweet that most girls would eat up and I reply with something goofy like "Shut up loser". (its an incredibly tender relationship, can't you tell?). Why I can't accept what he tells me, I never knew. But I knew I didn't like it and that something was wrong with me. And I wanted it fixed.
     So I'm sitting there thinking "this is EXACTLY what my boyfriend tells me. On a day-to-day basis, I am told this. Why don't I react to it like this? Why do I not think of myself like this?" and it's like God just spoke to me right at that moment. He told me that I may not hate myself and I may be able to pick out a lot of good qualities about myself, but I don't see myself the way the ones I love see me. I can't be serious when my boyfriend says these things because I don't fully believe them. If I can't accept what my boyfriend says about me, how in the world am I gonna be able to accept what GOD is telling me?
  So if you are sitting here reading this and are/were in the same spot I am/was, I want you to watch the video below and keep what I just told you in mind. Know that you are worth so much and that God's love for you is so unfathomable that it's stupid crazy. You are his absolute most precious thing, and he poured out blood for you. He gives you a clean slate every single day. He is always molding you, always forming you, always helping you. He won't give up even when you do. He won't stop guiding you. Also, when you try and make an impact on this world, don't give up. Keep on pushing. The bible is filled with all sorts of broken people who made a lot of mistakes but who changed the world because they put their trust in God and believed that no matter what the outcome is, He loves them and He is for them and HIS WILL IS BEST. Know that you are broken, but with God you are mended and you are beautiful.