Spirit, Lead Me Where My Trust is Without Borders

I am writing at a much too late time in the middle of the night simply because God is good and he has made my cup overflow yet again. As many of you know, I will be starting college next month. Some of you may have been through this yourself, so you know all about the nervousness/excitement you feel. You honestly do not know what to expect at all, but you are so ready for whatever it is. Just how much would you completely flip if you had to go into this not knowing where you would be living this year? Scratch that, what if you're college let you pick out a roommate that you had gotten to know for months and then told you that there actually wasn't room for you so they would pay for you to stay in a hotel until someone dropped out and you wouldn't actually get to room with your room mate. Yeah, not a cool feeling. Well that was the boat I was in.

I go to a college where the acceptance rate is through the roof. Funny thing is, it's actually one of the most respected schools for many, many majors in the southeast. This means that an insane amount of people pay for the first semester and about 30% of them actually end up dropping out super quickly, which in turn means the school makes thousands off of students they never really believed in in the first place. With this being the case, you must apply for housing as soon as the first inkling of wanting to attend the school actually forms itself into a brain wave and goes through your mind. I, being the indecisive person that I am, decided I wanted to go here in February. Apparently that was too late, hence me being an "overflow" student.

OBVIOUSLY I was bummed beyond words. I had plans to skip "The Great Move In Day" and just wait until I had to move in. I didn't even want to look at the pile of junk I had just bought for a dorm I would have to wait weeks and week for. And I was super bent that I just spent months getting to  know a girl I thought I would be living with but actually would be no where near. Not to mention, we planned for our room to be super cute and matchy and that no longer would be the case. I was not a nice person today by any stretch.

Then I decided it was time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. After all, this was my first experience with "The Real Word" and hey, "The Real World" never really had sparkling reviews did it? I was going to give it to God. I didn't know why I had been the one that was homeless. I thought I had done everything right in my college search, right down to making sure the school I wanted to go to was also the school he wanted me at. But I knew that his plan was what mattered and i was going to make the best out of it. Who knew, the person I did end up rooming with might need Jesus. I trusted that he knew what he was doing so I finally gave over the reigns, 100%.

I then made the hour long trek to an amazing worship service that is held on Tuesday nights. When I arrive, I look at my phone and see that my room mate had texted me... We had gotten a dorm. Yes, it's the crappiest dorm on campus and yes, we will have to relocate after Christmas due to renovations, but I am no longer homeless...

Praise God!! 

So as I go into worship and begin singing "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me" it hits me... God needed me to learn how to trust him. I have just entered a world where I do things on my own, which means plans will go, well, not as planned. I have to be able to fully know that no matter what happens or where I go it's in his plan and God has a hold on my life. I am about to walk into more of a battle field than I realize. Its a battle for souls. If I cant trust God, how can I convince anyone else to do the same? I know that even when it feels like things are upside down, its part of his plan. Just because I don't have it all figured out doesn't mean he doesnt. We never know what mission opportunities we have laid out before us and it is absolutely essential that we walk into the unknowing with a smile on our face so that others may ask why in the world we are so happy when everything seems to be going off the tracks. 

I am so glad to have had him teach me this lesson with his own hands and his own voice. It is certainly something I will never forget. If you havent heard the song Oceans by Hillsong (or if you've just heard the really bad radio version), the link is listed below. Please listen to it! It is one of my all time favorite worship songs and it always reminds me that he is the calm in the storm. With Jesus, you dont have to walk on water. You can just swim. He will keep your eyes above the water, even when the waves are taller than you can see. But trust is the key. God bless. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

Send Us to the Nations

Acts 1:8 "... and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth"

Last week, I spent about 5 hours a day at various mission sights in South Carolina for 4 days. I was on a church trip that allowed me to choose to minister to children during the day and then return to the camp at night for worship and fellowship. Every day I went to a different site to play with kids and hopefully be able to share the gospel with them and every day I was met by the exact same types of kids. These kids were growing up in impoverished apartment complexes. They were being shuttled between mom and dad's house because they just weren't really a priority to their parents. They were poor, smelly, lacked manners, and were extremely hostile to each other. These kids were so lost I was astounded. 

I was met by different cases over the 4 days I was on site. I witnessed children screaming at each other disrespectfully because they honestly had never been talked to differently than that way at home. They were always disrespected so they knew no better. I witnessed extreme racism towards white children in heavily african-american communities-a racism we as Americans don't really expect.  I witnessed hispanic children tell me they had never heard the name Jesus Christ before in their lives. I was overcome by the need of Jesus in these kids lives and in their parents lives. Signs of broken hearts were shown to me all week. Parents would come check out what we were doing and would pour out their hearts about the divorce they're going through, etc. Children as young as 4 wrote notes about how they felt hated and as if they had no friends and were eternally sad. Shy kids who had too many walls up didn't even speak or play or laugh. I honestly could not believe the amount of need that had to be met. 

It was one of the most life changing experiences of my life. 

It was here that God showed me that no matter where you are living or what you are doing or what He is calling your heart to long for, you can and MUST be a missionary at all times. The person in front of you at the grocery store could be hurting and just a simple conversation could open the door to so much more. People in America, let alone the rest of the world, are longing for Christ, they just need someone to show them the way. Being intentional in people's lives and investing in them is so important and it's something we don't do because we're lazy and scared and we don't actually want to follow God's will unless it's something easy. News Flash:

God's will is and forever will be uncomfortable, active, and really REALLY  hard. 

The truth of the matter is that God called us to be missionaries wherever we are. If we believe that the Gospel is indeed the gospel and that Jesus died, took the wrath of God for our sins, and rose from the dead, we HAVE to tell people. Keeping this to yourself not only means that their souls won't get to be with Jesus, but that they have to go through the rest of this life without Jesus' strength and help and they will never, ever feel liberated no matter how hard they try or what they do. This task is spelled out in the bible and examples are given. We get too caught up in careers and money and family and the desires of this Earth and we forget that we are created by God, the Bible was and is real, and we are called to follow what it says. Your life and your Christian life are not 2 separate things. Its time that the Church realized this. I pray that you will take advantage of every missions opportunity available to you. I hope that you will pray that God gives you guidance and words when you minister to people. I hope that you will be bold in your faith as we are called to be and are able to take the first step. 

Through this week, God put a strong passion for the Hispanic children in my heart. I currently feel a calling to learn Spanish and be involved in mission trips to Hispanic countries and Hispanic communities here in the US. It is a feeling I don't think I could describe with words and I am praying for the boldness to be able to fulfill my calling every day. I hope that you will join me in prayer for these people. 

Please take the time to serve others and to pray about what passions you have in order to better serve others as well. Love you all! God bless.

"We will run and we will go

To the world to let them know

Jesus is the Risen King;

He is God eternally!"

Pomp and Circumstance (Almost)

Today at a certain school on top of a hill, the bells rang one last time, locker doors slammed shut a final time, and a school parking lot drained out all too quickly. The same sounds were made, the same laughs were heard, and the same names were called today as they were when we first walked into that same school on August 1st, 2010. Today was my last real day of high school.

It doesn't feel happy or excited or even sad. There is only one word to describe the feeling that every senior is inevitably feeling at the moment and that word is "weird". I don't know what to feel. I'm excited for the future but then again it's uncomfortable. It's like we're mourning the loss of all the friendships we've ever known, the ones we've shared since we started Kindergarten in 2001. But at the same exact time we're fantasizing over the new friendships we'll create. The only thing I can connect this feeling to is my experience when reading Harry Potter (I'm a nerd, I know). You read a chapter where so much action happened and some losses occurred and all the sudden you find yourself at the end of that chapter feeling more emotionally confused than ever. You are excited and eager to move on to the next chapter to find out what happens next and to become enveloped in that story line, but you still find yourself lingering, fully reflecting on what you're leaving behind. That's exactly how I am today.

I know the next page of life will be full of more words and relationships and happiness. I have known for a while that the page I just finished would be coming to an end soon. But I'm in that weird in-between stage, that awkward blank chunk of paper between the ending and starting chapters. So the question now is, what do I do with that white space?

I think, for the moment at least, I will choose to use the white space to reflect. I've been a cheerleader and president of clubs and in AP classes. I've learned what I do and I don't like. I found Christ and real friendships and some not so good ones too. I've had an absolute ball as well as the most frustrating time of my life. It IS weird, a weird I won't feel again, but it's a good weird.

Hats off to you, class of 2014. You've been great and I wouldn't have wanted to go through this journey with anyone else. But now it's time for someone else to take our place. We left our mark, we made waves in our little pool. Let's not let the ripples stop here. Love each and every one of you. Your future will be as bright as you choose to let it be. God bless you all.


      Freshman year                   Sophomore Year                                       Junior Year                              

SENIOR YEAR!!

There's a Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh...

Tonight I celebrate my graduation from my "baby christian" stage. Tonight was the graduation that my Sunday school class set up for the seniors. I can not begin to describe how incredibly blessed I have been through this group of people. I have truly witnessed the hand of God reach down to touch the kids in this group. I have seen almost every one of them break down in worship and weep because they couldn't possibly comprehend how great, how loving, how gracious our Jesus is. And through witnessing that, I have truly came to appreciate the beauty behind such actions. Being with this group of teens has blessed me in ways I will never again be blessed. Teenagers seem to more easily be able to swallow their pride and get on their knees (or sometimes even literally lay face-down to the ground) and cry out to God. They put hands on each other and they pray wholeheartedly. They put their hands out and they scream and sing  and cry because that is the kind of worship that our God deserves. They become Jesus and they rake yards and they make soup and they brush kids hair and they sweep floors and they carry tables and they do what needs to be done in the church and in the mission world. Adults have problems with these things. They don't want to go in front of a congregation and admit that they have flaws or that they haven't appreciated Jesus the way that he deserves. They pray in extravagant words because they think that's the way to go. They mumble worship music in hopes that no one will be able to hear the words that they sing because they are ashamed of their voice when they sing. They have work and a family and they cant go to Africa or the other side of the country or across the state or even up the road because that's somebody else's job and they have a life. It seems like the teen Jesus and the adult Jesus are 2 different people. However, I believe wholeheartedly that my group of teens, my sunday school class, my brothers and sisters will help to change this stereotype. I have watched them change lives and churches and communities. I have seen God use them. I can't wait to see how God will continue to guide them.

It has been my pleasure and privilege to be a member of such a wonderful group of people. It's a bittersweet moment, but I know that God will continue to bless the next phase of my life. It will be a different experience but a good one. This is a moment in time, however. Never again will I see such blessings as these. Praise the Good Lord.

For Better or For Worse

In the past 6 months, my world has been spun out of control. Almost everything that could go wrong has, whether it be with me or my family. It has been tough and there have been numerous times when that little booger called doubt started creeping up on me. Dealing with hard times and still praising God the whole way through is easily one of a human's biggest weaknesses. We believe in a loving God who only wants the best for us and is guiding our every footstep at all times. However, it is SO hard to keep on believing this when you are personally walking through a living hell. What if I told you that even in the worst of times, when we are in the middle of one of our biggest storms, he's still that same God that I described above.

Society sucks. Human nature sucks. This world SUCKS. I mean it really is baaaad. Our society tells us to do what makes us happy, while our human nature tells us that sin is what makes us happy, while this world (which is controlled by Satan; 2 corin 4:4) tries to throw everything it has at us to make sure that we do give into this temptation. You wanna be gay? Be gay. It's okay, it makes you happy, anyone who says its not okay is a bigot and not truly a Christian. You wanna get drunk? Do it. You're having a fun time and anyone who says its not okay is judgmental.  You wanna have pre-marital sex? It feels good, so do it. Anyone who says its not okay doesnt understand what forgiveness is. You dont want to believe in Jesus? Okay, that's fine. You're a good person so you'll go to heaven anyway. Anyone who says differently has the wrong idea of God. These are all things that our society, our nature, our world tell us and they're all WRONG. These are just a few examples of the lies Satan tells us and the sad part about it is these days most people take these as the truth and they falsely use bible verses to justify them. I included this little section to make a point. What our nature tells us is love and is good and is right usually is not anywhere near correct. Just because you're going through hard times doesnt mean that God isn't on your side anymore. Just because it's gotten rough doesnt mean you can abandon ship and turn to one of the lies mentioned above for an escape. That is NOT who God is. 

So who is God? Lamentations 3: 22-24 say this:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

This verse tells us that God loves us SO much that we are given second chances over and over again, every single day. It tells us his love and his kindness NEVER fail, meaning that he is always good no matter what the circumstance is. It tells us that these kindnesses and this love is new every morning and he will always provide for us every day. It tells us he is faithful to do this, meaning he will never fail to treat us to these kindnesses and this love. And it gives us as example of how to act at all times, saying no matter what happens in life, God is more than enough for me and his timing is worth waiting on. 

So your family/friends die. You lose your job. You flunk out of school. You are terminally ill. You are homeless. You are addicted to drugs or sex or a sin. You are in jail. You are in thousands of dollars worth of debt. You life is seriously screwed up. 

What now? Are you going to give up on God? Are you going to believe the lies that Satan will try and is trying right at this very second to feed you? Are you going to turn to one of those sins mentioned above to try and escape or to rebel and accept this new false idea of the "hippie God", the God who is okay with whatever you want to do as long as it makes you happy? Or are you going to take God's word for what it is and start believe that all things work together for your good. Are you willing to stand up in the middle of the turmoil and the mess and worship the creator? Are you willing to dig deep into the word of God and seek what is truthful and develop a relationship with him and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior?

Or are you going to sit on your butt, cry, complain, and feel sorry for yourself? 

God is good all the time. All the time God is good. Even in death, he is good. Even in loss, he is there. Are you willing to find him? 

Saying "Bye-Bye" to 2013

As 2013 comes to an end, I find myself reflecting back on what made this year memorable for me. This year was the end of my junior year and the start of my senior year. It was the end of a terrible year of AP Chemistry and the start of the headache of scholarships. It was the pledge to begin to walk myself through the bible and the blessing of actually finishing it.It was a summer of camps, both spiritual and non-spiritual, that would forever change my life.  2013 meant a lot to me. But, in all honesty, these past few days of reflection have meant the most.

Maybe for me this year it isn't about what made 2013 memorable. Right now, it's about the protection that 2013 has/had to offer me. When the ball drops and the people kiss, 2014 starts. The year of graduation. The year of college. The year of money talking and making ends meet and meeting new people and being uncomfortable for some amount of time. Don't get me wrong- these are all things I'm excited for and I'm ready for... But that doesn't mean I'm not fearful, even just a little. This new year will be the end of what most people called the best days of their lives. My life is skating right by me and I can't even slow down. I've been wanting to skip through high school, and, don't get me wrong, I'm READY to take this next step. But for the next 5 months, I want to take it in. I don't want it to fly by. I want to enjoy the last 5 months with some people I will never see or talk to again ever. I want to enjoy living under my parents and being a kid. Because in 5 months, that's over. It will never ever go back to the way that it is now. And that's more than tough in some ways. 

All in all, I'm ready. I'm ready to grow up and to start life. I'm ready to meet those new people, to not me familiar with my surroundings, and to make more memories than I could imagine. I'm ready for the independence. I trust that God will get me there, no matter what I will be leaving behind in 5 months. 2014 is MY year. It's the year of promises and happiness and new beginnings. And I'm ready for that. But for the next 5 months, I will still be living in 2013. And I'm okay with that. 

My advice to anyone making those new years resolutions: stop. You don't need a new year to be a new you. If you are like me and you need the current year to stretch on just a little bit more, that can happen too. The next year is full of opportunities to improve you and improve the world. Be selfless, be wild, do something that you will remember for the rest of your life. But please, please don't stay the same. Embrace what God gives you, even if it's not what you're used to. This new year could mean 1000 different things, but only if you make it into what you want it to be. You don't need a resolution because such a thing does not exist. Make a change, stick to it, become who you've always wanted to be. And live. 

The First 40 Days Of Jesus- The Strength of Mary

   When we think of Christmas, we think of Luke chapter 2. We focus very little on Mary and Joseph and all the other characters brought in and we focus a lot on Jesus. And that is 100% okay, but when we narrow our sight on a single concept in a chapter in the bible (because we as an American society have made this chapter into NOTHING but Christmas), we lose sight of ALL that God wants us to see. This past month, my Sunday School teacher has been hitting Luke 2 hard and has been encouraging us to dig a little deeper, and this blog post is based on some things I learned about parenting from what she has told us/I have stringed together. (If you have never read Luke 2, I encourage you to do so right now and then return back to this point)

   Let's put ourselves in Mary's position: 

• She's a newly engaged young girl, historically most likely around the age of 13 or 14. 
• An angel has appeared to her and told her that she will birth the Messiah at her young age, even though she is most definitely a virgin
• Her fiance tried to quietly divorce her, only to decide to stay by her side because an angel came to try and explain what's going on to him. 
• Everyone around her thinks she is insane or not telling the truth. 

    I'm sorry, but we take this lightly when reading. This is HEAVY. If any of us were in this position we would most likely complain at every point we possibly could and not put as much trust in God as Mary did. It's easy to "trust God" through the little waves, but Mary went through something not a single other person in the history of man kind ever did. I can not imagine what was going through her head. 

   When we fast forward to Jesus' birth, we see that Mary had to get up and hike her very pregnant self up to her home town (which was a couple of days of travel via camel), where she went into labor with just Joseph to help her. Most people believe she actually had to give birth in a cave, although some do believe that it was literally a stable. The point of that part of the story was Mary had to give birth in the lowliest, most uncomfortable of places. 

   About 40 days after Jesus was born, he was to be consecrated in the temple. While Mary and Joseph were there, a man was overtaken by the holy spirit and led to basically tell Mary that her son will die and she will be so deeply affected by the death that it will "pierce her soul" as well. Mary had to have known before that moment that Jesus would die. When she found out that he was the Messiah, she would know his fate. However, I do believe that this was the first time that it really hit home with her. 

   From this chapter, we see that not only was Mary's life flipped completely upside down forever, but that she handled it flawlessly. Seriously, she was favored for a reason. I think God waited until the perfect person came along who could handle this situation because it truly is a weight to carry. Mary was strong, she was a lady, and she kept God's word even when it hurt. SO many lessons can be learned from Mary, but the one I want to focus on right now is this:

Parents, be Mary. Prepare for "your soul to be pierced too"

   Yes, I know that's very heavy. But it's true. There isn't an experienced parent out there that won't tell you when their kids finally left the nest, it was one of the hardest things they ever had to go through. However, this pain is prophesied from the very birth of the child. Did Mary hold Jesus back? Do we ever get the hint that Mary begged Jesus not to go through with the Crucifiction? No. Mary wanted God's will for Jesus to be done, and it was. But it was painful. This wasn't a surprise to Mary- she knew this pain would come. But she put Jesus' relationship with God first. This is what parents need to focus on most. If your kid wants to do foreign missions, or do anything away from home, don't discourage them. Please. Don't tell them not to go because YOU don't want them to go. Parents and children should seek God together. Learn something from Mary. God is the ultimate Father,the ultimate parent. He knows what is best. Reflect on the strength of Mary and want that strength for your children.