Friday, May 9, 2014

Pomp and Circumstance (Almost)

Today at a certain school on top of a hill, the bells rang one last time, locker doors slammed shut a final time, and a school parking lot drained out all too quickly. The same sounds were made, the same laughs were heard, and the same names were called today as they were when we first walked into that same school on August 1st, 2010. Today was my last real day of high school.

It doesn't feel happy or excited or even sad. There is only one word to describe the feeling that every senior is inevitably feeling at the moment and that word is "weird". I don't know what to feel. I'm excited for the future but then again it's uncomfortable. It's like we're mourning the loss of all the friendships we've ever known, the ones we've shared since we started Kindergarten in 2001. But at the same exact time we're fantasizing over the new friendships we'll create. The only thing I can connect this feeling to is my experience when reading Harry Potter (I'm a nerd, I know). You read a chapter where so much action happened and some losses occurred and all the sudden you find yourself at the end of that chapter feeling more emotionally confused than ever. You are excited and eager to move on to the next chapter to find out what happens next and to become enveloped in that story line, but you still find yourself lingering, fully reflecting on what you're leaving behind. That's exactly how I am today.

I know the next page of life will be full of more words and relationships and happiness. I have known for a while that the page I just finished would be coming to an end soon. But I'm in that weird in-between stage, that awkward blank chunk of paper between the ending and starting chapters. So the question now is, what do I do with that white space?

I think, for the moment at least, I will choose to use the white space to reflect. I've been a cheerleader and president of clubs and in AP classes. I've learned what I do and I don't like. I found Christ and real friendships and some not so good ones too. I've had an absolute ball as well as the most frustrating time of my life. It IS weird, a weird I won't feel again, but it's a good weird.

Hats off to you, class of 2014. You've been great and I wouldn't have wanted to go through this journey with anyone else. But now it's time for someone else to take our place. We left our mark, we made waves in our little pool. Let's not let the ripples stop here. Love each and every one of you. Your future will be as bright as you choose to let it be. God bless you all.

      Freshman year                   Sophomore Year                                       Junior Year                              

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