If You Ain't Talkin' Money, I Don't Wanna Talk

Excuse the silly title. It has next to nothing to do with this blog post, but it got your attention :)

It really bugs me when someone asks me a question or when I'm telling someone a story and they do not give me their undivided attention. I pay everyone I talk to with that respect and not receiving it in return is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. If you don't feel like I'm important enough for you to stop talking for a whole minute while I get a chance to speak, we most likely will never be friends. Letting someone talk while you just focus on their words is one of the greatest kindnesses you can pay a person.

I have a friend that will make you feel like 100 bucks just simply because he listens to what you're saying, looks you in the eye when you're talking, and asks you questions. We aren't really close at all, but I feel like he has invested in my life after talking about the simplest of things simply because he pays everyone he talks to with the kindness of listening to their words. It's really important to me. Nothing ruins a moment like when you're telling someone a story and they turn to someone else and start talking or interrupt you to tell their own story or with just a random thought. I'm telling you, nothing in this world makes me feel more worth it than when people listen to me, even if it's a 30 second conversation. It's important.

It's also important for us Christians. We can't expect someone to allow us to invest in their lives if we don't hear them out. There is no other way to make someone feel worthy for the love of Christ than just looking at them when they're talking and not interrupting. If we as Christians paid this simple decency to someone we are trying to witness to, how much more likely are they to come to church with us? How much more willing will they be to listen to us tell the Gospel if we have already taken the liberty to listen to them first?

There is a very loving bible-thumper that frequently visits my college campus to bring the great news of hell to all the open-minded college students walking to class. (Please tell me you picked up on all my sarcasm- He's a crazy, mean man and college students are, contrary to popular belief, some of the least open-minded people out there). This man stands on a concrete pillar, screams at students, and then allows students to come talk to him. Basically what this means is he allows them to bicker with him. He lets them ask him a question, cuts them off before they're done to put in his lengthy response, and when it's their turn to respond again,  he does the exact same thing. You can imagine how effective his visits are. Students don't feel heard or wanted, and all this man accomplishes doing is turning people who may have been won over for Christ away because now they associate all Christians with this crazy man who does not give two flips about what they have to say.

This is not who we are. Jesus was a teacher, but he also was very much a listener. He promises to be a shoulder to cry on, a shelter. You can't cry on someone's shoulder who isn't willing to listen to your sob story. Jesus listens. God listens. We were made to listen twice as much as we are talking. There is nothing that will make a person feel more worthy, loved, important. It's an easy thing to do to show the love of Christ. And it's just a human decency.

So try to have an intentional conversation with someone today. Look them in the eye, ask questions. This conversation needs not to last over 2 minutes unless you want it to, but I promise it will be the highlight of someone's day.

Though the Earth Trembles, God

Tonight, as I prepare for bed, I picked up a journal that I worked on all summer before college. The wonderful Mrs. Leslie Hudson, also known as my former Sunday School teacher, had challenged us to read the book of Psalms in 30 days, make categories in a notebook that would relate to our lives (happy, sad, fear, ect.), and then categorize the Psalms. I like to think of it as my emergency God book. Tonight I needed some emergency God. I have been suffering from awful sleep insomnia ever since I've started college. You all know this if you paid any attention to my long rant that I posted at 2 am (not the best of ideas I've had, I admit). It's the end of the semester, I have an exam at 8 in the morning, and I just want rest. So I flipped to my little category labeled "fear". Honestly, I don't know why I chose fear because fear has absolutely no correlation with sleep but I did, I turned to fear. And here are the first 2 passages that I read.

Psalm 46: "Therefore we will not be afraid. Though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the sea...."

Psalm 62: "Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him."

I didn't need to open my bible and flip to Psalm 46 to see what the rest of that sentence was. I had written it exactly like it is shown above in my journal because I knew that on nights like this that would be all I needed. I don't need to know the ending. I need to know that I will not be afraid no matter what comes my way. No matter if the mountains in my life are toppling over or even if in real life the actual earth began to shake and the mountains literally did fall over, I will not fear. My God is bigger than that. He's bigger than my insomnia. He's bigger than my exams. He's bigger than the degree I will earn, all the success I will ever have in my life, any burden I will ever bear or pain I will ever feel. He's bigger than anything in my life. He always will be. That's comforting.

Psalm 62 was the cherry on top. Rest easy because I'm exhausted? Rest easy because I've studied until I've driven myself crazy? No. Rest easy simply because my hope comes from Him. I don't need another explanation or another reason. I just need God, who is always true and is always right and always comes out on top. My soul is in the hands of the maker of the stars. I will rest easy.

Though the mountains fall into the seas and the earth shakes. Though the skies turn into fire, and the waters rise to our necks. Though my body is exhausted physically and my brain even more far-gone than that, I will rest easy. My God wins.

It's the Fries Talking

Today served as a fairly large milestone in my life to me on a personal/spiritual level. It was the last day of classes of my first semester of college. Big deal, I got 7 more heading my way before I can throw a real party. But really, big deal. I know this is fairly a common thing these days, but to me its extraordinary. As many of you know, the path I am on right now is not one that I chose but one that God chose. I wouldn't be at the school I'm at or pursuing what I'm majoring in if God hadn't intervened. Sometimes, while I'm sitting in my room studying for hours, I regret this decision. Not because I don't absolutely love what I'm studying, but because I see people with the major I intended to pursue hanging out with friends and attending lots of school events. They "cram all night" (they don't) for a test in one of their classes and the test barely compares in difficulty to a normal quiz I might take or a homework assignment I have. It's pretty crappy sometimes. But I remind myself that I'm not just here for me, I'm here for the Lord's work, which is a super weird thing to hear coming from someone not majoring in anything directly theological at a school that is about as secular as they come, but I am. I love studying what I am studying and pushing myself, and today I reached a milestone. A semester of saying yes to God's plan and to pushing through the adversity that I face literally every day (no one takes me seriously in my major because I'm a girl and I wear makeup) and totally trusting him when NOTHING has gone the way I thought it would. So, with that huge introduction, here's the actual meat of the blogpost. The REAL college. This is the list of lies about college I grew up hearing and the reality of these lies. So sit back, relax, and laugh at my life. It's totally cool, I'll be laughing with you.

***Disclaimer: None of these terrible awful things may actually happen to you. My dumb roommate actually lost weight and eats lots of pizza and has beautiful skin and sleeps 12 hours a day (Hate you Bailee). ***

1) You're Going to be SO Fit: This was the thought running through my head when I first toured the college I currently attend. LIE. This might be an easy task for certain majors (let's be real here), but engineering is not one of those. If you want good grades, you find time to work out in an empty study room once or twice a week, something I do quite often these days. If you don't really care about your grades, go to the gym daily. I know many people who do this and their grades are mediocre at best, but hey, that's their choice. I went through my last two years of high school working out daily and my whole life playing sports so this fact is still pretty hard for me to deal with, but we're getting there.

2) Our Food Accommodates EVERYONE: FALSE. College food is the definition of suck. Our cafeteria comes complete with tasteless food and a staff that is so comfortable with our students that they feel free to take on our mom's job of yelling at us. You then find yourself eating at the restaurants around campus a lot, which gets old quickly. Yes, I'm saying it, Chick-Fil-A ain't cutting it anymore. I actually had a breakdown in my dorm about 20 minutes ago because I don't remember the last meal I had where fries weren't served. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a mom who cooked really healthy, amazing food every night. So this one's for you mom, get to cooking.

3) You will Get the Best Sleep of Your Life: Oh yeah I've bought into this one for a while. However, I underestimated just how fried my brain would get. I now find myself so wound up with stress that insomnia and I have become best friends. The other night I actually found myself solving calculus problems in my head while trying to sleep. Many nights have I woken up dozens of times because my dreams were filled with the homework I had just worked on or how I could have solved that problem on my Chemistry quiz. I went through high school getting 8+ hours of sleep no problem. I could fall asleep just about anywhere. Now I can't even escape from school in my own sleep people. There should be a scholarship for that.

4) Acne is a Thing of the Past: Perhaps the most cruel lie of all. I've had a mild problem with acne since middle school, however over the course of my senior year my acne had almost completely disappeared. Now my face could be mistaken for a pepperoni pizza. I think the culmination of lack of exercise, shoving greasy food into my face, and the restless nights all piled onto of the crazy amount of stress that I have is the main cause here (I'm working on all the above, bear with me). Oh, and incase you're interested, this reason what why I had today's mental breakdown. It's all good though, I swore off french fries.

5) And all the rest: You will be so much poorer than you ever thought you would be, you will miss your friends from high school more and more every day, anytime you see an animal will be a big deal because colleges have issues with animals, (if you go to a state school) your professors won't give 2 craps about you and the parking will suck, you will pay out the whazoo for your education, everyone around you will suddenly start turning into liberals, your chances of becoming a stripper skyrocket.

Yeah, I think that about covers it all. Now, there are very many wonderful, great things about college. However, no one ever wants to complain about good things. I'm hoping I will discover more and more good things as time moves on, but you never know how God works. I could hate my life for 7 more semesters, but I'm here for Him. Bottom line is, I don't care how crappy college is, if that's where God wants me then that's where God wants me. I will work as hard as I possibly can to make it, but only for Him. That's where I draw strength from because I can NOT do this on my own. I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough determination, I would go insane. God is the ONLY reason I'm doing as well as I'm doing (contrary to the impression you may have just gotten). I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for him making it possible. He's piled on blessing after blessing for me to be here right now, complaining about these things. I'm not about to give up on Him. Truth is, I kinda love being an engineer. Can this college thing just happen in the comfort of my own home?

Thank you for reading my rant. I promise my life isn't the joke I just made it seem. I'm extremely happy and blessed :)

Happy Halloween!

It's October 31st! I may be too old to dress up and go trick-or-treating, but I'm never too old for scary movies and the same sugar cookies with a little pumpkin on them that I ate when I was a little kid. (pictured below...you're welcome)

Wednesday night, my roommate and I saw that Xfinity was letting users watch the Conjuring. Later that night, a dorm next to our's was having a "haunted dorm" so we decided it would be a brilliant idea to watch a scary movie before we went to the haunted dorm. So we turned on the movie (after minor technical issues) with me sitting in a bean-bag chair down on the floor while she was in her bed. Of course we both eventually ended up in her bed, along with our favorite disney stuffed animals (yes, this is acceptable in college). The fact that we watched this movie in a dark dorm built in the 1960s complete with bugs and lights that have been out since the beginning of the semester probably didn't help to ease our minds either. Nevertheless, we watched our movie.

If you've never seen The Conjuring, it's about like any other scary movie. Possession, demons, exorcisms, the works. Upon watching this movie, something dawned on me. The people being haunted always inevitably find a priest to perform an exorcism or bless the house. They put up crosses in their house, wear them around their necks. But in every single movie like this that I have ever seen, a statement is made about how they "aren't religious people". The reason they are putting up the crosses is to get rid of the spirits (if you've lived under a rock your entire life and have never seen a scary movie, religious icons scare the spirits away), so they obviously believe that these ghosts and demons are real, yet they still don't believe in Jesus. The very icons they are ornamenting their houses with to scare away an entity that is obsessively oppressing them are the same icons they decide to continuously deny. How? How can someone know that demons are real, know that images of Jesus Christ defeating death on a cross is the only way to get rid of them, yet still remain ignorant to the fact that Jesus has to be real if these demons are also real? It blows my mind.

Of course, I know that these are movies, but how often do  we see real people do this in real life? Too often. They deny the obvious, and it blows my mind....

**Important: the next paragraph actually has nothing to do with the subject of the blog but it's kind of important for the paragraph after it ***

I don't know about you, but I wholeheartedly believe in spirits, ghosts, and demons. We all know that demons are mentioned several times in the Bible, but have you ever read about ghosts? If not, you need to spend some time in the Old Testament. Saul goes to see a medium to conjure up the ghost of Samuel, and it worked. Thats enough proof for me. Granted, in this case the ghost was not meant to spook people and it definitely was not a work of Satan. However, I believe that exists too. Maybe not in the form we see in scary movies or even in the form mentioned in the Gospels, but I still believe it exists.

 *BACK TO THE POINT**

The thing I like most about The Conjuring would have to be the end. Most people probably would have turned the movie off by now or maybe didn't even read the last slide, but I did. It read something like "The Devil is real. God is real. Your destiny hinges upon who you decide to follow".  And it's so true. The saying "If you're not for me, you're against me" definitely holds true with Jesus. So on this Halloween I will choose to think of Jesus and not ghosts. The comfort of knowing that even though every day Satan is fighting for my soul, my God is stronger. Dress up as ghosts and witches today and rest easy, because God is still God.

"But my God you never will"

Quick update on my life: I'm in college, I have a hard major, I am stressed and don't have time to think.

That about sums it up without going into too much boring detail. I've had some ups and some downs in the last month, many of which were cleaned up after dropping a class taught by a professor who thought very highly of himself. All in all the college experience is getting progressively better, even as I head into a very hectic and stressful week.

The worst thing about college, for me at least, is the intimidation. I am a woman engineering major, which means I am among the a vast minority of people. I go to a college where every freshmen enters majoring in some type of engineering field and quickly changes to a business major. Engineering is HUGE here. Definitely the best college to go to for engineering in the state, and almost in the entire southeast. Engineering companies around here only hire graduates from my school in a lot of cases. But think about how incredibly intimidating that is! I am in a male-dominated field, and I am by far not the smartest student in the college. I live every day in intimidation and awe that I can actually do the things that I am doing. I mean, a year ago I was going to go to a private school and become an elementary school teacher. My life has not always looked like what it does right now. The difference is God stepped in and told me what he wanted me to pursue. He laid on my heart mission work that I can do as a Civil Engineer. He put a love of math in me (something I was NOT born with) and a fascination with structures. And so I made the switch and here I am. And I'm doing pretty great so far.

Granted, it will get much, much harder as I get into higher level classes. But I trust God. I know without a doubt that I am in the major God wants me in. He blessed me with scholarships specifically for engineering, something I know he wouldn't have done with this is not where I was supposed to be.  I know that right now I'm not studying for me, I'm studying for the gospel. I will not ignore the mission calling that God has on my heart. I can't wait to see how that unfolds, but I'm not giving up on it. But bottom line is, I'm not in school for me. Which is why I am working my butt off. I'm doing the Lord's work right now. And I truly believe that. It may sound crazy, but I truly believe it.

The only thing that is getting me through it is knowing that God is stronger. I go back to a worship song I have sang many many times. Part of it goes a little like this:
"I may be weak,
but Your spirit's strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
but my God You never will"

Whenever I'm intimidated or scared about what the future is going to look like this, I remember these verses. I know that I can do NONE of this on my own. Not joking, none of it. I would be doing terribly in college. I am not strong enough to handle this pressure by myself and I know that. I know that sounds crazy because many people go through college without Christ, but it's been a tough transition and on my own I am not emotionally or mentally capable of handling it. But God is. And God never fails. And I'm here by his calling, by his plan. So I know he's got my back, and I'm going to follow him throughout this journey, no matter if it takes 6 years and I lose all my scholarships and I'm a nervous wreck. I'm where I need to be.

I challenge you all to find exactly what it is that God is leading you to. It may not even be a degree or a call to the mission field in the sense that most people see it as. It could be something totally different and crazy. I just want you to listen to that calling and stick with it. It will be intimidating, but let God amaze you. He will work wonders in you, no matter how crazy it is, and you will push through. I'm going to use the very over-used bible verse Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". It's over-used because its so incredibly true. Go out there and be awesome. And listen to this worship song because it is the bomb. (ps. I'm a civil engineering major, not a computer engineering major, so you're going to have to copy and past the link below into your browser, but it's worth it)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMVvqI1-tM4

Not Even Sure What To Call This One

WARNING: I am going to write this as nicely as I can muster... no promises though.

If any of you guys are my Facebook readers then you probably think this particular blogpost is going to be about an ignorant student who told my speech class that America is corrupt. You however are wrong because believe it or not, I ran into even more idiotic people. No idea where this is going to go but I assume it will probably be a rant so brace yourselves:

For the past 2 weeks on Tuesday, a crazy psychopath comes to my College and stands on the main patio of our campus and twists Bible verses around while screaming at students. We all know the Gospel (for these purposes I will be condensing this like a ton and also will be using the short version that most of the people 2 generations above my own would use): We are sinners, we deserve hell, Christ took our sins. If you are my age you would realize how... unappealing, I suppose, this sounds, and you would revise it to look more like the truth: we are sinners, God is love beyond our understanding, he can help us out as people as well as help us out with our eternity, yadda yadda yadda. My generation prefers this second approach for multiple reasons that I will not delve into now. Once we mature as Christians, it is a lot easier to swallow the whole "we deserve hell" thing. I'm like completely okay with hearing this, I understand it completely, and this fact actually makes my relationship with God better. Nevertheless, my generation generally takes a different approach to the Gospel.

With that being said, this crazy preacher literally stands on a pillar and screams in essence "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!" in this face of students as they walk to class.... very encouraging right before an exam I must say.  My purpose is not to necessarily talk about this crazy man, however I will include some vital information: The man believes a variety of incredibly not true things. The one under discussion today was that people could lose their salvation just because they sinned. Here is what he meant: He believes in Jesus therefore he is a christian therefore he no longer sins.  He believes that if you are a christian and sin you lose your salvation. One of my good friends was pulling out verses left and right disproving this and the guy would not have it. Ultimately the guy said "Are you a Christian?" and when my friend replied yes he said "Well then I'm not really here for you. I'm moving on." SO, what Im trying to get to is that this guy claimed he was here for non believers.

Well, I was standing in the back listening to all of the nonsense comments being made while the crazy psycho was talking to individuals. A series of events that completely disturbed me occurred as follows:

1. A Giant dude and scrawny little dude were talking. I couldn't tell if they were honestly stupid or a little drunk or both. I'm leaning towards both. Anyway, the big, giant, dumber one said something along the lines of:
"DUDE *obnoxious drunk/stupid laughter* What if.... what if like.... like everyone just was doing shrooms out in the desert and like... wrote the Bible man *more obnoxious drunk/stupid laughter*"

Being as this comment was made after a slew of other ignorant ones, I couldn't take it no longer and politely informed them that that indeed would be absolutely crazy being as like 90% of religions use the same Old Testament so like how crazy would it be if they had all been on shrooms and written the exact same thing??
The idiots thought I was agreeing with them.
They then talked about how maybe they all just Plagiarized after one another. This, of course, was after the big one announced "I ate beer for lunch man *obnoxious hick laughter*"
Moving on.

2. My friend came to talk to me about when Jesus talked about how a fig tree bearing no fruit needs to be cut off. Not going to teach on this, if you want clarity google it please. If you understand the passage, move on.

A pink haired girl with her head half shaved came up, randomly in the middle of my conversation, and said in a very hippy-esce tone "Yeah, I mean by fruit don't you mean like peace and love man?"

No, hippy girl. No, that is not what fruit is.

She then said "Cause, I mean, this dude is hate. He ain't love, man. He's hate. He's worse than Satan."

WORSE THAN SATAN. I don't think this point even needs to be addressed. If THIS is her version of Satan, the vision of hell that she has in her head is paradise man.

3. A long haired freaky man ran up behind crazy preacher dude and yelled "Hale Satan!!!" to which the pink haired hippy said "Yeah, man!" and then went and hugged a random dude like pink-haired hippies would do.


Not really sure where to go with this. There is no lesson here. Just a lot of sadness. My heart is deeply pained by these people and their beliefs. They have honestly put no thought into it at all, not even a little. And anything we say they will be turned off by because being a Christian in that crowd right now is sooooo "not cool".

My bad though, I thought we were in college. Not middle school.

Your Glory is so Beautiful

   We live in a scared, fragile world. You have to really think about what you're about to say because someone's feelings could get hurt. More people are in counseling now than ever before. It's always someone else's fault and there is no such thing as "sucking it up", but more like "you owe me". We live in a world full of sinners who want to proclaim they are saints.

    This theory has desensitized our churches and has given our people a feeling of false self-righteousness. 

We have tricked our churches and done the nations injustice. Our congregations are filled with people who believe they are good enough to get into heaven on their own, or with just a little bit of Jesus. We have completely forgotten the gospel. One of my pet peeves is churches who don't preach the Old Testament. I think it is so incredibly crucial to know where we came from and why we needed Jesus in the first place. I'm not talking about just reading Genesis 3 occasionally either. I have spent far more time in the Old Testament than I have in the New Testament because it makes me realize what my human nature tells me to do, the grace and love of Christ, and the holiness of God. Now you go to church and listen to a preacher spin a single New Testament verse into a lovey dovey mess that has lost it's original meaning altogether. We need the Old Testament to make us realize that we are sinners, we turn away from God daily, and we NEED Jesus. 

But the problem isn't that the churches don't talk about the Old Testament. The problem is that churches don't want to talk about sinners. Recently someone told me that they felt uncomfortable when someone was sharing the gospel and told them that we all deserve to go to hell. I was so surprised. Isn't that what the entire gospel is? The Bible tells a story and isn't this the essence of the message? 

Romans 3:23-24 "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ."

So why aren't we talking about our sins? Why do we feel uncomfortable when someone points out that we are sinners?

How can one truly appreciate what Christ has done for them without acknowledging that they are indeed sinners. With me its a matter of worship. I worship Christ by acknowledging that through Him I have obtained wholeness and holiness even. And I'm sick and tired of our generation, our country telling Christians that they're good enough with or without Christ. 

Use your unholiness in worship next time you go to church, or even right now. Embrace what Christ has done for us and the redemption that comes from him. Because we are sinners, we have fallen short, and we are in need of a Savior. 

Below is one of my favorite worship songs, "Your Glory" by Alls Sons and Daughters. If you get 6 minutes of free time, listen to it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBWFzVfJ5-0

The Blog Post that Proves Christianity

Okay, so maybe this title is a little bold. Proving Christianity is no easy task, mainly because God wants us to rely on a certain amount of faith. He gives us the equation y-mx+b, gives us numbers for three of those variables and expects us to solve for the last variable. It's not black and white like that for all of us, however.  It blows me away how many times I have heard some of the following theories when it comes to religion/heaven:

• No matter what someone believes in, if they're a "good person", their eternity will be spent in heaven.
• All of us on Earth will end up in heaven. 
• What someone else believes is none of my business

Okay, I'm just going to ask some questions here...

So, if all you have to be is a "good person", then why does anyone practice a religion? What's the point in praying and abstaining from sex and not doing drugs and going on mission trips if all you have to be is a "good person"? Further, who dictates what a good person is or not? Doesn't everyone think that they themselves are a good person by human standards? So what/who dictates exactly what makes a good person?

Piggy-backing off of that, if everyone goes to heaven, whether they are a good person or not, then again why does anyone go through the restrictions of a religion? What is the point?

Stopping here for a second, you see my point. If either of these were true, then no one would feel the need to have a religion. I've heard Muslims and Christians both say these things. My question to them is this: if you truly believed either of these things, then why are you restricting yourself with religion? I'm 18 years old. I know exactly what "fun" i'm missing out on by being a Christian. I don't get high, I don't attend the parties on campus, I don't drink, I don't have sex (or anything NEAR it), I don't dress provocatively, and I don't find humor in crude jokes. Is any of that easy as a Freshmen in college? NO NO NO NO NO. So why would I do that if all I had to be was a relatively good person, or, by even easier standards, just a human being? Why would anyone do that?

The point is, from the beginning of time people have believed in something. God, Greek gods, Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, or even if you believe in Science (I'm talking to you, atheists). Religion has always been there. The funny part about this is that most major religions share the same Old Testament. The Bible, The Koran, and so on. From this, any logical person could infer that if 99% of people who have ever lived on Earth believed in SOME higher power, then a higher power likely exists. Second, if most religions share the same Old Testament, that's probably true too. The great part about this point is that the religions vary by who they perceive is the prophet described in the Old Testament. For sake of time, it is very extremely clear to me that the scriptures point directly at Jesus with big flashing signs. And if I believe that, then I have to believe the New Testament too. And I believe the New Testament, then I take it very seriously when Jesus tells us that He is the only way to heaven. And if I believe this, then I take each and every soul on this Earth that much more serious. So yes, it is my business what the person next to me believes. They aren't just a person to me. They are a soul, they have a purpose, and they were formed by God. This is SERIOUS business.

So, with all that being said, I prove my point. Yes, the title was bold, and maybe I didn't exactly prove Christianity. However, I got y'all thinking. If you believe in one of the above theories, why? And does that actually make sense/line up with your religion? If you are an atheist,you don't have a code of ethics really. You have nothing to tell you "yes, this is correct" or "no, this is wrong". Therefore, the answer for you is probably yes. However, if you are a Christian or a Muslim or a Jew, does that really line up with your religion? And if you aren't following your religion close enough for the answer to be no, then ask yourself why you are really even in a religion at all.

And all of you- why do/dont you believe in Jesus? Do you understand the facts I stated about the Old Testament? If not, please contact someone. Me, a local pastor, somebody. God is real, Jesus is his son, and he is speaking to your heart. He has provided a way for you to get more information, but you HAVE to take the opportunity. No excuses.

Aint it Fun Livin' in the Real World?

Well here I am, sitting in my itty bitty dorm room, writing a blog post. The last 2 days have been filled with such mixed emotions from every end of the spectrum but I think the one word that just ties it all together perfectly is "overwhelming".  Absolutely nothing I have had planned in my head for many many months now has actually happened as I had planned it. From the bed loft I thought I would buy not fitting my bed to my dorm being too small to actually fit the bed loft I did end up buying in the way I thought it would be. Adjusting to living in a room a little bit bigger than my bathroom meant for 2 people and sharing a bathroom with 20 other girls has been different. but it has definitely been a good different.

God has definitely been trying to teach me before classes even begin. I have learned that you have GOT to roll with the punches or you will sink. When you graduate high school, the crap that life throws at you gradually becomes more and more uncomfortable. I am super surprised that right off the bat things became more difficult. You have to adjust. I really do enjoy dorm life but it definitely isn't the comfortable life that most high school seniors have in their heads. Things have changed so much in the short time that I have been here and it would really have been easy if I just had given up and decided that I hated college that first day. But I didn't. I sat back and wondered why God would give me this cup. He did it in the name of teaching 

From this point on, I will always look for solutions to problems in a more realistic way than ever before. These are real life problems that I am encountering, things that I have to fix on my own. I am so glad that I was introduced to this right off the bat. It seems like such a simple thing that most people think is common sense, but it's not. You have to be on your own, figuring out your own problems for it to really connect. 

For the rest of our lives, problems will arise. Set backs will come. Everything we have had planned in our heads for years will not go as planned. And that's okay. Our God is with us and he has a plan. And things always go according to his plans. That is enough comfort for the next 4 years of college and a year getting my masters and a career and a husband and some kids. Or you know, whatever God has planned for me. 

Have fun out there fellow college students! The fun has just begun. And adults out there, remember this lesson too. God bless!

When the Stars Fall Down

Resurrection. Rapture. Apocalypse. Armageddon. End of life as we know it. The final show-down.

The coming of christ has many different names, categories, and definitions. There are different beliefs on what is going to happen, when it will happen, how it will happen, and the timing of all the things that are going to happen. People have different interpretations of Revelations and therefore hardly anyone believes the same thing when it comes to the rapture of the church. I mean, no one knows honestly, so I guess it would be more accurate to say that no one's guesses are exactly the same.

The other night as I sat down to eat a dinner with my boyfriend and his family, this exact discussion arose. Some of his family believe one thing, some believe the opposite, and the rest really do not know (I fall into that category). To catch you up:

Belief #1: Rapture First- People who believe in this theory say that the current followers of Christ will be raptured first (aka, taken from this earth to spend eternity with Jesus) and then the Tribulations that is outlined in the book of Revelations will take place. Followed by the tribulation, the people who realized they had missed out the first time and would like to dedicate their lives to Christ would be given a chance to do so. The "second rapture" will occur (this is when many people believe 144,000 Jews will realize Jesus is the Messiah they had been looking for and will also be saved) and then the full-out war between God's people and Satan's people will occur. Obviously Satan is defeated and we spend eternity as God's bride.

Belief #2: Tribulation First- People who believe in this theory believe that everyone on earth, believers and non believers alike, will be suddenly thrust into the tribulation that Revelations outlines. After that, there will be one and only one rapture of the people of God and then the fight between heaven and hell will commence.

Obviously these theories go much deeper and each have valid scriptural evidence to back up the claims. If you've by chance never taken a look at Revelations, its extremely symbolic and hard to interpret. It certainly goes above and beyond human understanding, as I believe God meant for it to go. My point I want to make here today is, are you ready for either option?

It would be easy and comforting to believe that we christians get to be raptured first and skip all the pain and suffering that comes with option 2. I think its safe to say that we all would prefer this to happen. The question is, however, what if it doesn't? What if option 2 is actually most accurate. What if you and I and our babies have to live through the years of tribulation, something that is quite literally hell on earth,? Are you ready to still worship God and still believe that He is good?

Sadly, I think the answer to this question is "no" for a lot of us. If the antichrist himself held a gun to our heads and told us to accept his mark or die in the name of Jesus, many of us would choose the easy way out and take the mark. Even harder, if he held a gun to our children's heads, most parents would most definitely accept the mark. We most definitely would choose satan and sin over Jesus. We absolutely would do what was easiest, what was most just in our own eyes. It would be a no-brainer to continue to conform to this world, a world that Satan controls.

I'm coming with this message today to get you thinking. In this day and age, not very often do we stop to pause and think about this reality. We do not know when Jesus will come to claim his bride. We do not know if we will suffer or if we will be given grace. It could be 10 minutes or days or weeks or years. But are you ready? And are you ready to die for your God? Are you ready to say "Yes, Satan. I follow Jesus and I know that You will be defeated and I will voluntarily let you take my family's life from me right now because I know that we will be in a much, much better place for our faith in Him"? That's a tough statement to spit out. But it's something you have to think about now.

As a near 20-year-old who has her whole life and a college degree ahead of her, this is something really hard to think about. I've been pinning wedding ideas and baby ideas for years now, and I'm finally getting to a point in my life where that very well could be the reality for me in the next 5 years. I could be a new bride with a baby on the way. Thats exciting. Everyone wants to meet Mr. Right and get hitched and pop out some kids and decorate a home together and grow old surrounded by happiness and family. It's literally the American Dream. But honestly, this might not be a reality for me. Jesus could be calling his bride home sooner rather than later. Am I ready to say "take my life and all the dreams and plans I've looked forward to since I could remember. I choose Jesus, not that."..? I think, in all honestly, I am.....

Are You?

Calling All College Students: The List Has Arrived

Here is the list of things that I have thus far found extremely irritating when it pertains to college. The number is what it is because I just decided to list absolutely everything that has annoyed the dickens out of me in the past few months and then run with whatever number that turns out to be. Also, for your added benefit, I have found all of these things to be annoying and I have yet to attend a single college class or even move into a dorm, which adds on to the fun in my eyes. Without further ado, here is a list of the crap that universities put us through:

THE LIST

(dum dum daaaaaaaaah)

1. The fact that I am given a fee for anything and everything. I have a fee for being a student and for living on campus and for choosing the major that I chose and for parking and for breathing and enjoying sunlight and for any other thing that university can find to nickel and dime me (I lied about that last one). You would think the thousands upon thousands already going towards tuition and housing and meal plans would have it covered.... You would be wrong. 

2. Being an "Overflow Student". Essentially it comes down to this: the university accepts everyone who applies in order to get extra $$$. They don't believe half these idiots will make it past the first month, but they get their grubby little hands on all those thousands that student paid for the first semester anyway. This means that these snots want to live on campus and since the school accepts everyone, there becomes a problem with the amount of dorms available. Which puts actual students who came in with a shot at doing this in a hotel for weeks. Why this is even a thing, I don't know. But it needs to not be. 

3. The Email System from hell.  I will never understand why I have to login 10 times before my account is recognized but I do. I also will never understand why the system can never seem to follow any command you give it. Isn't it ironic that an institution meant to make you more educated can't even handle its own tech problems?

4. Unneeded books. Not sure why the university lists books that they never intend to use on the "what to buy" list in their class. In fact, on the first day of class they will even admit to you that you need not buy this book, which is why I will be holding off. Also don't know why this is a thing, but it is and I'm still not president so not much I can do there. 

5. We're given jail cells in exchange for our souls. We basically are being asked to sign our life away and pay out the wazoo. You would think we would at least be met with top of the line bedrooms for this, but we're not. We are met by warm, inviting cinder block walls and furniture from the 1960s on move-in day. 

6. The "You got so lucky to get all of those scholarships!" summer talks. I'm "lucky?" Um no. Please tell that to the senior girl in high school who spent her free periods (the period all other seniors used for nap time) filling out scholarships and writing essays. I believe I have been to more interviews/banquets/offices to prove that I am worthy of this stuff than anyone on planet earth. I lived and breathed scholarships for a year. I basically lived in my guidance counselors office, some days even visiting my warm and cheery and not socially awkward (heehee) guidance counselor between every single class period, plus 20 minutes of my lunch. So no, I did not get lucky. God blessed me with the maturity to be able to be that disciplined, but I by no means had it "fall in my lap".   

7. My emails being passed around more than the Thanksgiving side dishes. For some reason when you email someone at the university who seems like they could answer your questions (or are even listed as the person who could indeed answer the question), they always have to send it to somebody else. Infact, sometimes i email my school trying to figure out exactly who to email about a certain question and that email gets passed around 4 times. 

For the time being, this is all the ranting I am capable of. Yes, this stuff gets under my skin. But I am super excited to be in college and start my little journey. However, I will protest this crap till I die.

Spirit, Lead Me Where My Trust is Without Borders

I am writing at a much too late time in the middle of the night simply because God is good and he has made my cup overflow yet again. As many of you know, I will be starting college next month. Some of you may have been through this yourself, so you know all about the nervousness/excitement you feel. You honestly do not know what to expect at all, but you are so ready for whatever it is. Just how much would you completely flip if you had to go into this not knowing where you would be living this year? Scratch that, what if you're college let you pick out a roommate that you had gotten to know for months and then told you that there actually wasn't room for you so they would pay for you to stay in a hotel until someone dropped out and you wouldn't actually get to room with your room mate. Yeah, not a cool feeling. Well that was the boat I was in.

I go to a college where the acceptance rate is through the roof. Funny thing is, it's actually one of the most respected schools for many, many majors in the southeast. This means that an insane amount of people pay for the first semester and about 30% of them actually end up dropping out super quickly, which in turn means the school makes thousands off of students they never really believed in in the first place. With this being the case, you must apply for housing as soon as the first inkling of wanting to attend the school actually forms itself into a brain wave and goes through your mind. I, being the indecisive person that I am, decided I wanted to go here in February. Apparently that was too late, hence me being an "overflow" student.

OBVIOUSLY I was bummed beyond words. I had plans to skip "The Great Move In Day" and just wait until I had to move in. I didn't even want to look at the pile of junk I had just bought for a dorm I would have to wait weeks and week for. And I was super bent that I just spent months getting to  know a girl I thought I would be living with but actually would be no where near. Not to mention, we planned for our room to be super cute and matchy and that no longer would be the case. I was not a nice person today by any stretch.

Then I decided it was time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. After all, this was my first experience with "The Real Word" and hey, "The Real World" never really had sparkling reviews did it? I was going to give it to God. I didn't know why I had been the one that was homeless. I thought I had done everything right in my college search, right down to making sure the school I wanted to go to was also the school he wanted me at. But I knew that his plan was what mattered and i was going to make the best out of it. Who knew, the person I did end up rooming with might need Jesus. I trusted that he knew what he was doing so I finally gave over the reigns, 100%.

I then made the hour long trek to an amazing worship service that is held on Tuesday nights. When I arrive, I look at my phone and see that my room mate had texted me... We had gotten a dorm. Yes, it's the crappiest dorm on campus and yes, we will have to relocate after Christmas due to renovations, but I am no longer homeless...

Praise God!! 

So as I go into worship and begin singing "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me" it hits me... God needed me to learn how to trust him. I have just entered a world where I do things on my own, which means plans will go, well, not as planned. I have to be able to fully know that no matter what happens or where I go it's in his plan and God has a hold on my life. I am about to walk into more of a battle field than I realize. Its a battle for souls. If I cant trust God, how can I convince anyone else to do the same? I know that even when it feels like things are upside down, its part of his plan. Just because I don't have it all figured out doesn't mean he doesnt. We never know what mission opportunities we have laid out before us and it is absolutely essential that we walk into the unknowing with a smile on our face so that others may ask why in the world we are so happy when everything seems to be going off the tracks. 

I am so glad to have had him teach me this lesson with his own hands and his own voice. It is certainly something I will never forget. If you havent heard the song Oceans by Hillsong (or if you've just heard the really bad radio version), the link is listed below. Please listen to it! It is one of my all time favorite worship songs and it always reminds me that he is the calm in the storm. With Jesus, you dont have to walk on water. You can just swim. He will keep your eyes above the water, even when the waves are taller than you can see. But trust is the key. God bless. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

Send Us to the Nations

Acts 1:8 "... and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth"

Last week, I spent about 5 hours a day at various mission sights in South Carolina for 4 days. I was on a church trip that allowed me to choose to minister to children during the day and then return to the camp at night for worship and fellowship. Every day I went to a different site to play with kids and hopefully be able to share the gospel with them and every day I was met by the exact same types of kids. These kids were growing up in impoverished apartment complexes. They were being shuttled between mom and dad's house because they just weren't really a priority to their parents. They were poor, smelly, lacked manners, and were extremely hostile to each other. These kids were so lost I was astounded. 

I was met by different cases over the 4 days I was on site. I witnessed children screaming at each other disrespectfully because they honestly had never been talked to differently than that way at home. They were always disrespected so they knew no better. I witnessed extreme racism towards white children in heavily african-american communities-a racism we as Americans don't really expect.  I witnessed hispanic children tell me they had never heard the name Jesus Christ before in their lives. I was overcome by the need of Jesus in these kids lives and in their parents lives. Signs of broken hearts were shown to me all week. Parents would come check out what we were doing and would pour out their hearts about the divorce they're going through, etc. Children as young as 4 wrote notes about how they felt hated and as if they had no friends and were eternally sad. Shy kids who had too many walls up didn't even speak or play or laugh. I honestly could not believe the amount of need that had to be met. 

It was one of the most life changing experiences of my life. 

It was here that God showed me that no matter where you are living or what you are doing or what He is calling your heart to long for, you can and MUST be a missionary at all times. The person in front of you at the grocery store could be hurting and just a simple conversation could open the door to so much more. People in America, let alone the rest of the world, are longing for Christ, they just need someone to show them the way. Being intentional in people's lives and investing in them is so important and it's something we don't do because we're lazy and scared and we don't actually want to follow God's will unless it's something easy. News Flash:

God's will is and forever will be uncomfortable, active, and really REALLY  hard. 

The truth of the matter is that God called us to be missionaries wherever we are. If we believe that the Gospel is indeed the gospel and that Jesus died, took the wrath of God for our sins, and rose from the dead, we HAVE to tell people. Keeping this to yourself not only means that their souls won't get to be with Jesus, but that they have to go through the rest of this life without Jesus' strength and help and they will never, ever feel liberated no matter how hard they try or what they do. This task is spelled out in the bible and examples are given. We get too caught up in careers and money and family and the desires of this Earth and we forget that we are created by God, the Bible was and is real, and we are called to follow what it says. Your life and your Christian life are not 2 separate things. Its time that the Church realized this. I pray that you will take advantage of every missions opportunity available to you. I hope that you will pray that God gives you guidance and words when you minister to people. I hope that you will be bold in your faith as we are called to be and are able to take the first step. 

Through this week, God put a strong passion for the Hispanic children in my heart. I currently feel a calling to learn Spanish and be involved in mission trips to Hispanic countries and Hispanic communities here in the US. It is a feeling I don't think I could describe with words and I am praying for the boldness to be able to fulfill my calling every day. I hope that you will join me in prayer for these people. 

Please take the time to serve others and to pray about what passions you have in order to better serve others as well. Love you all! God bless.

"We will run and we will go

To the world to let them know

Jesus is the Risen King;

He is God eternally!"

Pomp and Circumstance (Almost)

Today at a certain school on top of a hill, the bells rang one last time, locker doors slammed shut a final time, and a school parking lot drained out all too quickly. The same sounds were made, the same laughs were heard, and the same names were called today as they were when we first walked into that same school on August 1st, 2010. Today was my last real day of high school.

It doesn't feel happy or excited or even sad. There is only one word to describe the feeling that every senior is inevitably feeling at the moment and that word is "weird". I don't know what to feel. I'm excited for the future but then again it's uncomfortable. It's like we're mourning the loss of all the friendships we've ever known, the ones we've shared since we started Kindergarten in 2001. But at the same exact time we're fantasizing over the new friendships we'll create. The only thing I can connect this feeling to is my experience when reading Harry Potter (I'm a nerd, I know). You read a chapter where so much action happened and some losses occurred and all the sudden you find yourself at the end of that chapter feeling more emotionally confused than ever. You are excited and eager to move on to the next chapter to find out what happens next and to become enveloped in that story line, but you still find yourself lingering, fully reflecting on what you're leaving behind. That's exactly how I am today.

I know the next page of life will be full of more words and relationships and happiness. I have known for a while that the page I just finished would be coming to an end soon. But I'm in that weird in-between stage, that awkward blank chunk of paper between the ending and starting chapters. So the question now is, what do I do with that white space?

I think, for the moment at least, I will choose to use the white space to reflect. I've been a cheerleader and president of clubs and in AP classes. I've learned what I do and I don't like. I found Christ and real friendships and some not so good ones too. I've had an absolute ball as well as the most frustrating time of my life. It IS weird, a weird I won't feel again, but it's a good weird.

Hats off to you, class of 2014. You've been great and I wouldn't have wanted to go through this journey with anyone else. But now it's time for someone else to take our place. We left our mark, we made waves in our little pool. Let's not let the ripples stop here. Love each and every one of you. Your future will be as bright as you choose to let it be. God bless you all.


      Freshman year                   Sophomore Year                                       Junior Year                              

SENIOR YEAR!!

There's a Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh...

Tonight I celebrate my graduation from my "baby christian" stage. Tonight was the graduation that my Sunday school class set up for the seniors. I can not begin to describe how incredibly blessed I have been through this group of people. I have truly witnessed the hand of God reach down to touch the kids in this group. I have seen almost every one of them break down in worship and weep because they couldn't possibly comprehend how great, how loving, how gracious our Jesus is. And through witnessing that, I have truly came to appreciate the beauty behind such actions. Being with this group of teens has blessed me in ways I will never again be blessed. Teenagers seem to more easily be able to swallow their pride and get on their knees (or sometimes even literally lay face-down to the ground) and cry out to God. They put hands on each other and they pray wholeheartedly. They put their hands out and they scream and sing  and cry because that is the kind of worship that our God deserves. They become Jesus and they rake yards and they make soup and they brush kids hair and they sweep floors and they carry tables and they do what needs to be done in the church and in the mission world. Adults have problems with these things. They don't want to go in front of a congregation and admit that they have flaws or that they haven't appreciated Jesus the way that he deserves. They pray in extravagant words because they think that's the way to go. They mumble worship music in hopes that no one will be able to hear the words that they sing because they are ashamed of their voice when they sing. They have work and a family and they cant go to Africa or the other side of the country or across the state or even up the road because that's somebody else's job and they have a life. It seems like the teen Jesus and the adult Jesus are 2 different people. However, I believe wholeheartedly that my group of teens, my sunday school class, my brothers and sisters will help to change this stereotype. I have watched them change lives and churches and communities. I have seen God use them. I can't wait to see how God will continue to guide them.

It has been my pleasure and privilege to be a member of such a wonderful group of people. It's a bittersweet moment, but I know that God will continue to bless the next phase of my life. It will be a different experience but a good one. This is a moment in time, however. Never again will I see such blessings as these. Praise the Good Lord.

For Better or For Worse

In the past 6 months, my world has been spun out of control. Almost everything that could go wrong has, whether it be with me or my family. It has been tough and there have been numerous times when that little booger called doubt started creeping up on me. Dealing with hard times and still praising God the whole way through is easily one of a human's biggest weaknesses. We believe in a loving God who only wants the best for us and is guiding our every footstep at all times. However, it is SO hard to keep on believing this when you are personally walking through a living hell. What if I told you that even in the worst of times, when we are in the middle of one of our biggest storms, he's still that same God that I described above.

Society sucks. Human nature sucks. This world SUCKS. I mean it really is baaaad. Our society tells us to do what makes us happy, while our human nature tells us that sin is what makes us happy, while this world (which is controlled by Satan; 2 corin 4:4) tries to throw everything it has at us to make sure that we do give into this temptation. You wanna be gay? Be gay. It's okay, it makes you happy, anyone who says its not okay is a bigot and not truly a Christian. You wanna get drunk? Do it. You're having a fun time and anyone who says its not okay is judgmental.  You wanna have pre-marital sex? It feels good, so do it. Anyone who says its not okay doesnt understand what forgiveness is. You dont want to believe in Jesus? Okay, that's fine. You're a good person so you'll go to heaven anyway. Anyone who says differently has the wrong idea of God. These are all things that our society, our nature, our world tell us and they're all WRONG. These are just a few examples of the lies Satan tells us and the sad part about it is these days most people take these as the truth and they falsely use bible verses to justify them. I included this little section to make a point. What our nature tells us is love and is good and is right usually is not anywhere near correct. Just because you're going through hard times doesnt mean that God isn't on your side anymore. Just because it's gotten rough doesnt mean you can abandon ship and turn to one of the lies mentioned above for an escape. That is NOT who God is. 

So who is God? Lamentations 3: 22-24 say this:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

This verse tells us that God loves us SO much that we are given second chances over and over again, every single day. It tells us his love and his kindness NEVER fail, meaning that he is always good no matter what the circumstance is. It tells us that these kindnesses and this love is new every morning and he will always provide for us every day. It tells us he is faithful to do this, meaning he will never fail to treat us to these kindnesses and this love. And it gives us as example of how to act at all times, saying no matter what happens in life, God is more than enough for me and his timing is worth waiting on. 

So your family/friends die. You lose your job. You flunk out of school. You are terminally ill. You are homeless. You are addicted to drugs or sex or a sin. You are in jail. You are in thousands of dollars worth of debt. You life is seriously screwed up. 

What now? Are you going to give up on God? Are you going to believe the lies that Satan will try and is trying right at this very second to feed you? Are you going to turn to one of those sins mentioned above to try and escape or to rebel and accept this new false idea of the "hippie God", the God who is okay with whatever you want to do as long as it makes you happy? Or are you going to take God's word for what it is and start believe that all things work together for your good. Are you willing to stand up in the middle of the turmoil and the mess and worship the creator? Are you willing to dig deep into the word of God and seek what is truthful and develop a relationship with him and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior?

Or are you going to sit on your butt, cry, complain, and feel sorry for yourself? 

God is good all the time. All the time God is good. Even in death, he is good. Even in loss, he is there. Are you willing to find him?