Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Spirit, Lead Me Where My Trust is Without Borders

I am writing at a much too late time in the middle of the night simply because God is good and he has made my cup overflow yet again. As many of you know, I will be starting college next month. Some of you may have been through this yourself, so you know all about the nervousness/excitement you feel. You honestly do not know what to expect at all, but you are so ready for whatever it is. Just how much would you completely flip if you had to go into this not knowing where you would be living this year? Scratch that, what if you're college let you pick out a roommate that you had gotten to know for months and then told you that there actually wasn't room for you so they would pay for you to stay in a hotel until someone dropped out and you wouldn't actually get to room with your room mate. Yeah, not a cool feeling. Well that was the boat I was in.

I go to a college where the acceptance rate is through the roof. Funny thing is, it's actually one of the most respected schools for many, many majors in the southeast. This means that an insane amount of people pay for the first semester and about 30% of them actually end up dropping out super quickly, which in turn means the school makes thousands off of students they never really believed in in the first place. With this being the case, you must apply for housing as soon as the first inkling of wanting to attend the school actually forms itself into a brain wave and goes through your mind. I, being the indecisive person that I am, decided I wanted to go here in February. Apparently that was too late, hence me being an "overflow" student.

OBVIOUSLY I was bummed beyond words. I had plans to skip "The Great Move In Day" and just wait until I had to move in. I didn't even want to look at the pile of junk I had just bought for a dorm I would have to wait weeks and week for. And I was super bent that I just spent months getting to  know a girl I thought I would be living with but actually would be no where near. Not to mention, we planned for our room to be super cute and matchy and that no longer would be the case. I was not a nice person today by any stretch.

Then I decided it was time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. After all, this was my first experience with "The Real Word" and hey, "The Real World" never really had sparkling reviews did it? I was going to give it to God. I didn't know why I had been the one that was homeless. I thought I had done everything right in my college search, right down to making sure the school I wanted to go to was also the school he wanted me at. But I knew that his plan was what mattered and i was going to make the best out of it. Who knew, the person I did end up rooming with might need Jesus. I trusted that he knew what he was doing so I finally gave over the reigns, 100%.

I then made the hour long trek to an amazing worship service that is held on Tuesday nights. When I arrive, I look at my phone and see that my room mate had texted me... We had gotten a dorm. Yes, it's the crappiest dorm on campus and yes, we will have to relocate after Christmas due to renovations, but I am no longer homeless...
Praise God!! 
So as I go into worship and begin singing "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me" it hits me... God needed me to learn how to trust him. I have just entered a world where I do things on my own, which means plans will go, well, not as planned. I have to be able to fully know that no matter what happens or where I go it's in his plan and God has a hold on my life. I am about to walk into more of a battle field than I realize. Its a battle for souls. If I cant trust God, how can I convince anyone else to do the same? I know that even when it feels like things are upside down, its part of his plan. Just because I don't have it all figured out doesn't mean he doesnt. We never know what mission opportunities we have laid out before us and it is absolutely essential that we walk into the unknowing with a smile on our face so that others may ask why in the world we are so happy when everything seems to be going off the tracks. 

I am so glad to have had him teach me this lesson with his own hands and his own voice. It is certainly something I will never forget. If you havent heard the song Oceans by Hillsong (or if you've just heard the really bad radio version), the link is listed below. Please listen to it! It is one of my all time favorite worship songs and it always reminds me that he is the calm in the storm. With Jesus, you dont have to walk on water. You can just swim. He will keep your eyes above the water, even when the waves are taller than you can see. But trust is the key. God bless. 

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