Pomp and Circumstance (Almost)

Today at a certain school on top of a hill, the bells rang one last time, locker doors slammed shut a final time, and a school parking lot drained out all too quickly. The same sounds were made, the same laughs were heard, and the same names were called today as they were when we first walked into that same school on August 1st, 2010. Today was my last real day of high school.

It doesn't feel happy or excited or even sad. There is only one word to describe the feeling that every senior is inevitably feeling at the moment and that word is "weird". I don't know what to feel. I'm excited for the future but then again it's uncomfortable. It's like we're mourning the loss of all the friendships we've ever known, the ones we've shared since we started Kindergarten in 2001. But at the same exact time we're fantasizing over the new friendships we'll create. The only thing I can connect this feeling to is my experience when reading Harry Potter (I'm a nerd, I know). You read a chapter where so much action happened and some losses occurred and all the sudden you find yourself at the end of that chapter feeling more emotionally confused than ever. You are excited and eager to move on to the next chapter to find out what happens next and to become enveloped in that story line, but you still find yourself lingering, fully reflecting on what you're leaving behind. That's exactly how I am today.

I know the next page of life will be full of more words and relationships and happiness. I have known for a while that the page I just finished would be coming to an end soon. But I'm in that weird in-between stage, that awkward blank chunk of paper between the ending and starting chapters. So the question now is, what do I do with that white space?

I think, for the moment at least, I will choose to use the white space to reflect. I've been a cheerleader and president of clubs and in AP classes. I've learned what I do and I don't like. I found Christ and real friendships and some not so good ones too. I've had an absolute ball as well as the most frustrating time of my life. It IS weird, a weird I won't feel again, but it's a good weird.

Hats off to you, class of 2014. You've been great and I wouldn't have wanted to go through this journey with anyone else. But now it's time for someone else to take our place. We left our mark, we made waves in our little pool. Let's not let the ripples stop here. Love each and every one of you. Your future will be as bright as you choose to let it be. God bless you all.


      Freshman year                   Sophomore Year                                       Junior Year                              

SENIOR YEAR!!

There's a Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh...

Tonight I celebrate my graduation from my "baby christian" stage. Tonight was the graduation that my Sunday school class set up for the seniors. I can not begin to describe how incredibly blessed I have been through this group of people. I have truly witnessed the hand of God reach down to touch the kids in this group. I have seen almost every one of them break down in worship and weep because they couldn't possibly comprehend how great, how loving, how gracious our Jesus is. And through witnessing that, I have truly came to appreciate the beauty behind such actions. Being with this group of teens has blessed me in ways I will never again be blessed. Teenagers seem to more easily be able to swallow their pride and get on their knees (or sometimes even literally lay face-down to the ground) and cry out to God. They put hands on each other and they pray wholeheartedly. They put their hands out and they scream and sing  and cry because that is the kind of worship that our God deserves. They become Jesus and they rake yards and they make soup and they brush kids hair and they sweep floors and they carry tables and they do what needs to be done in the church and in the mission world. Adults have problems with these things. They don't want to go in front of a congregation and admit that they have flaws or that they haven't appreciated Jesus the way that he deserves. They pray in extravagant words because they think that's the way to go. They mumble worship music in hopes that no one will be able to hear the words that they sing because they are ashamed of their voice when they sing. They have work and a family and they cant go to Africa or the other side of the country or across the state or even up the road because that's somebody else's job and they have a life. It seems like the teen Jesus and the adult Jesus are 2 different people. However, I believe wholeheartedly that my group of teens, my sunday school class, my brothers and sisters will help to change this stereotype. I have watched them change lives and churches and communities. I have seen God use them. I can't wait to see how God will continue to guide them.

It has been my pleasure and privilege to be a member of such a wonderful group of people. It's a bittersweet moment, but I know that God will continue to bless the next phase of my life. It will be a different experience but a good one. This is a moment in time, however. Never again will I see such blessings as these. Praise the Good Lord.

For Better or For Worse

In the past 6 months, my world has been spun out of control. Almost everything that could go wrong has, whether it be with me or my family. It has been tough and there have been numerous times when that little booger called doubt started creeping up on me. Dealing with hard times and still praising God the whole way through is easily one of a human's biggest weaknesses. We believe in a loving God who only wants the best for us and is guiding our every footstep at all times. However, it is SO hard to keep on believing this when you are personally walking through a living hell. What if I told you that even in the worst of times, when we are in the middle of one of our biggest storms, he's still that same God that I described above.

Society sucks. Human nature sucks. This world SUCKS. I mean it really is baaaad. Our society tells us to do what makes us happy, while our human nature tells us that sin is what makes us happy, while this world (which is controlled by Satan; 2 corin 4:4) tries to throw everything it has at us to make sure that we do give into this temptation. You wanna be gay? Be gay. It's okay, it makes you happy, anyone who says its not okay is a bigot and not truly a Christian. You wanna get drunk? Do it. You're having a fun time and anyone who says its not okay is judgmental.  You wanna have pre-marital sex? It feels good, so do it. Anyone who says its not okay doesnt understand what forgiveness is. You dont want to believe in Jesus? Okay, that's fine. You're a good person so you'll go to heaven anyway. Anyone who says differently has the wrong idea of God. These are all things that our society, our nature, our world tell us and they're all WRONG. These are just a few examples of the lies Satan tells us and the sad part about it is these days most people take these as the truth and they falsely use bible verses to justify them. I included this little section to make a point. What our nature tells us is love and is good and is right usually is not anywhere near correct. Just because you're going through hard times doesnt mean that God isn't on your side anymore. Just because it's gotten rough doesnt mean you can abandon ship and turn to one of the lies mentioned above for an escape. That is NOT who God is. 

So who is God? Lamentations 3: 22-24 say this:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

This verse tells us that God loves us SO much that we are given second chances over and over again, every single day. It tells us his love and his kindness NEVER fail, meaning that he is always good no matter what the circumstance is. It tells us that these kindnesses and this love is new every morning and he will always provide for us every day. It tells us he is faithful to do this, meaning he will never fail to treat us to these kindnesses and this love. And it gives us as example of how to act at all times, saying no matter what happens in life, God is more than enough for me and his timing is worth waiting on. 

So your family/friends die. You lose your job. You flunk out of school. You are terminally ill. You are homeless. You are addicted to drugs or sex or a sin. You are in jail. You are in thousands of dollars worth of debt. You life is seriously screwed up. 

What now? Are you going to give up on God? Are you going to believe the lies that Satan will try and is trying right at this very second to feed you? Are you going to turn to one of those sins mentioned above to try and escape or to rebel and accept this new false idea of the "hippie God", the God who is okay with whatever you want to do as long as it makes you happy? Or are you going to take God's word for what it is and start believe that all things work together for your good. Are you willing to stand up in the middle of the turmoil and the mess and worship the creator? Are you willing to dig deep into the word of God and seek what is truthful and develop a relationship with him and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior?

Or are you going to sit on your butt, cry, complain, and feel sorry for yourself? 

God is good all the time. All the time God is good. Even in death, he is good. Even in loss, he is there. Are you willing to find him? 

Saying "Bye-Bye" to 2013

As 2013 comes to an end, I find myself reflecting back on what made this year memorable for me. This year was the end of my junior year and the start of my senior year. It was the end of a terrible year of AP Chemistry and the start of the headache of scholarships. It was the pledge to begin to walk myself through the bible and the blessing of actually finishing it.It was a summer of camps, both spiritual and non-spiritual, that would forever change my life.  2013 meant a lot to me. But, in all honesty, these past few days of reflection have meant the most.

Maybe for me this year it isn't about what made 2013 memorable. Right now, it's about the protection that 2013 has/had to offer me. When the ball drops and the people kiss, 2014 starts. The year of graduation. The year of college. The year of money talking and making ends meet and meeting new people and being uncomfortable for some amount of time. Don't get me wrong- these are all things I'm excited for and I'm ready for... But that doesn't mean I'm not fearful, even just a little. This new year will be the end of what most people called the best days of their lives. My life is skating right by me and I can't even slow down. I've been wanting to skip through high school, and, don't get me wrong, I'm READY to take this next step. But for the next 5 months, I want to take it in. I don't want it to fly by. I want to enjoy the last 5 months with some people I will never see or talk to again ever. I want to enjoy living under my parents and being a kid. Because in 5 months, that's over. It will never ever go back to the way that it is now. And that's more than tough in some ways. 

All in all, I'm ready. I'm ready to grow up and to start life. I'm ready to meet those new people, to not me familiar with my surroundings, and to make more memories than I could imagine. I'm ready for the independence. I trust that God will get me there, no matter what I will be leaving behind in 5 months. 2014 is MY year. It's the year of promises and happiness and new beginnings. And I'm ready for that. But for the next 5 months, I will still be living in 2013. And I'm okay with that. 

My advice to anyone making those new years resolutions: stop. You don't need a new year to be a new you. If you are like me and you need the current year to stretch on just a little bit more, that can happen too. The next year is full of opportunities to improve you and improve the world. Be selfless, be wild, do something that you will remember for the rest of your life. But please, please don't stay the same. Embrace what God gives you, even if it's not what you're used to. This new year could mean 1000 different things, but only if you make it into what you want it to be. You don't need a resolution because such a thing does not exist. Make a change, stick to it, become who you've always wanted to be. And live. 

The First 40 Days Of Jesus- The Strength of Mary

   When we think of Christmas, we think of Luke chapter 2. We focus very little on Mary and Joseph and all the other characters brought in and we focus a lot on Jesus. And that is 100% okay, but when we narrow our sight on a single concept in a chapter in the bible (because we as an American society have made this chapter into NOTHING but Christmas), we lose sight of ALL that God wants us to see. This past month, my Sunday School teacher has been hitting Luke 2 hard and has been encouraging us to dig a little deeper, and this blog post is based on some things I learned about parenting from what she has told us/I have stringed together. (If you have never read Luke 2, I encourage you to do so right now and then return back to this point)

   Let's put ourselves in Mary's position: 

• She's a newly engaged young girl, historically most likely around the age of 13 or 14. 
• An angel has appeared to her and told her that she will birth the Messiah at her young age, even though she is most definitely a virgin
• Her fiance tried to quietly divorce her, only to decide to stay by her side because an angel came to try and explain what's going on to him. 
• Everyone around her thinks she is insane or not telling the truth. 

    I'm sorry, but we take this lightly when reading. This is HEAVY. If any of us were in this position we would most likely complain at every point we possibly could and not put as much trust in God as Mary did. It's easy to "trust God" through the little waves, but Mary went through something not a single other person in the history of man kind ever did. I can not imagine what was going through her head. 

   When we fast forward to Jesus' birth, we see that Mary had to get up and hike her very pregnant self up to her home town (which was a couple of days of travel via camel), where she went into labor with just Joseph to help her. Most people believe she actually had to give birth in a cave, although some do believe that it was literally a stable. The point of that part of the story was Mary had to give birth in the lowliest, most uncomfortable of places. 

   About 40 days after Jesus was born, he was to be consecrated in the temple. While Mary and Joseph were there, a man was overtaken by the holy spirit and led to basically tell Mary that her son will die and she will be so deeply affected by the death that it will "pierce her soul" as well. Mary had to have known before that moment that Jesus would die. When she found out that he was the Messiah, she would know his fate. However, I do believe that this was the first time that it really hit home with her. 

   From this chapter, we see that not only was Mary's life flipped completely upside down forever, but that she handled it flawlessly. Seriously, she was favored for a reason. I think God waited until the perfect person came along who could handle this situation because it truly is a weight to carry. Mary was strong, she was a lady, and she kept God's word even when it hurt. SO many lessons can be learned from Mary, but the one I want to focus on right now is this:

Parents, be Mary. Prepare for "your soul to be pierced too"

   Yes, I know that's very heavy. But it's true. There isn't an experienced parent out there that won't tell you when their kids finally left the nest, it was one of the hardest things they ever had to go through. However, this pain is prophesied from the very birth of the child. Did Mary hold Jesus back? Do we ever get the hint that Mary begged Jesus not to go through with the Crucifiction? No. Mary wanted God's will for Jesus to be done, and it was. But it was painful. This wasn't a surprise to Mary- she knew this pain would come. But she put Jesus' relationship with God first. This is what parents need to focus on most. If your kid wants to do foreign missions, or do anything away from home, don't discourage them. Please. Don't tell them not to go because YOU don't want them to go. Parents and children should seek God together. Learn something from Mary. God is the ultimate Father,the ultimate parent. He knows what is best. Reflect on the strength of Mary and want that strength for your children. 

   

The Big Bible Challenge

Since December 27th, 2012, I have been in a one year bible study plan. The plan was to read through the bible, starting in Genesis and ending in Revelations, in one year. I am proud to say that...

I DID IT!!!

I finished my one year plan about 2 weeks ago, which was 3 weeks ahead of schedule. I encourage all of you who havent already done something similar to challenge yourself. Reading ALL of God's word is so important. I can not begin to describe the blessings I have received in doing this or how God has talked directly to me from his word. You will never understand this until you just do it. I found the biggest blessings in the most surprising of places, places in the bible that Christian pastors often dont include in their Sunday sermon. I have probably learned more from the Old Testament about Jesus than I have from the New Testament, and I never thought that would be so. 

Another great reason to take this challenge (which I will include below) is because it allows you to be in the word every single day. Seriously, if you got anything out of this post, it needs to be this: read scripture EVERY SINGLE DAY. God will use his word to bless your life specifically for that day. Daily doses of scripture transform your thoughts and bring them to God. I am a firm believer that nothing will lift you up better than daily scripture and prayer. The way that this challenge is laid out, you will be dealing with manageable chunks of scripture that you can easily fit into 20-30 minutes of your day. It's worth the sacrifice, I promise.
So here is the challenge! It may seem like a lot, but you have an entire year. It works. There is no reason you can not do this challenge, it just takes a little will power and prayer. Good luck!

The Big Bible Challenge 

(I got this challenge from my study bible, so don't think I came up with this myself)

• Monday-Saturday: Read 3 chapters a day. 
• Sunday: Read 5 chapters 

Extra tidbit of help: To get the most out of this experience, write/highlight/underline important things to you as you go along. A bible that is falling apart belongs to someone that isn't. :)

Hebrews 12:8

Doubt (verb): to feel uncertain about; to be afraid of. How often do you and I doubt? Sometimes our doubt is visible and we are open about it. Sometimes it’s in moments where there is a little voice in the back of our heads that is barely whispering but plants the tiniest seed of doubt. We all doubt. And it will forever serve as one of the biggest cripples for Christians. I find that the moments when we as Christians experience most of our doubt is when we feel like we’re being punished. We can’t hold up under the pressure, so we doubt God’s love or maybe even his existence. Trial and tribulation causes us to question God’s motives.

          Many people will tell you ways to deal with the tribulation in order that you don’t doubt. There are a lot of empty promises out there that we easily get confused with what God actually tells us about the things we’re going through. Cliché statements like “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” are statements that you won’t find in the bible. We make up our own comforting words to convince ourselves that we’re going through this struggle but that it won’t be hard. But what does the bible actually say?

          Hebrews 12:7-8 “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined- and every one undergoes discipline- then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” This verse tells us A LOT about how God thinks of us. How often does Satan whisper to us “God doesn’t love you” when the storms of life rage on? More so, how often do we believe it! We agree with Satan 9 times out of 10, but Satan is a liar. The bible, God’s written word, tells us that we are undergoing our hardships because we are true children of God. Does it say that it will be easy? Not at all. Jesus never once said this life would be easy. In fact, he was pretty upfront about the trials we will endure. Too often we let the severity of our storm persuade us into doubt.

          I assume that many of you who read this paper are parents yourself. God makes sure that you personally will be able to relate to what he’s saying by adding the tidbit in about parenting. It is a fact of life that you have to discipline your kids in order for them to mature and to grow. Do you like it? Of course not. It’s hard for you and it’s hard for the kids. As a child, a spanking or a time out is devastating. To them, it’s just as bad as anything you are going through in your “grown up life”. But you still have to put them through it. God wants you to relate to this verse with your own life.

          It may be tough on both parties, but God is our Father. He disciplines us, his true children, in order that we may come out stronger and wiser than before. We’re not being punished, we’re being refined. This is such a hard thing to keep in mind when we are at that point of struggle, but it is essential. Even when life is raging on, we must continue to seek God, continue to love God, and continue to believe God. Satan is a liar. Any non-believer could tell you this. Don’t let a liar talk you out of the most intense love and experiences you could possibly imagine. Take hold of the life God gave you, along with its ups and downs, and live.